Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
Loren: I haven’t watched anything from The Conjuring-verse yet, so, this is waaaay down the list. I’m not as adamant that these movies fail (see Rick’s entry) but that’s really just because a good friend of mine is writing The Conjuring 2 spinoff The Crooked Man and I want good things for him.
RDT: Creepy doll? Yeah, I’m good.
Rick: I keep hoping for the failure of movies like these so the idea that everything needs a “Cinematic Universe” will go away. Also, go watch The Conjuring instead. It’s uniformly excellent.
Jen: How many of these creepy doll movies are there now? Whatever you just said, that’s one too many.
The Nut Job 2: Nutty By Nature
Loren: Hey uh, good for Katherine Heigl. Maybe this is how she gets back into Hollywood’s good graces, by just using her voice.
Rick: I feel like this movie is a waste if it doesn’t feature some sort of kid-friendly version of “O.P.P.”. Naughty By Nature could probably use the royalty check, too.
Jen: 1. I am sure my daughter will want to see this, so I’ll report back. 2. Creepy doll? Is this in the Conjuring-verse too? 3. I can’t help but think this is a dig at Disney as the bad guy wants to build an amusement park, right?
The Glass Castle
Loren: It may not be my cup of tea, but this looks excellent. I truly hope this stays on my radar.
RDT: Given the talent involved (Please check out Short Term 12, if you haven’t. It’s so well done.), I’m definitely in for this. Maybe even in theaters.
Rick: Listen to RDT. Short Term 12 is the real deal. This also looks great, and bonus points for realistic old-age makeup on Naomi Watts. Further bonus points for Naomi Watts for showing up in a movie that actually looks to be worth seeing.
Jen: This movie looks perfectly cast and I’ve read some interviews with the woman whose memoir it’s based on and it sounds like they really captured the essence. Sounds solid, I’m surprised we’re not seeing this one in December.
Ingrid Goes West
Loren: I like Aubrey Plaza, she’s terrifying. I kinda wonder if she’s the female embodiment of Andy Kaufman. I’m definitely in for this down the road, but I don’t need to see it in the theater.
RDT: So, like a comedic Single White Female starring millennials? Sure, why not.
Rick: This appeals to the side of me that loves super trashy and weird cinema. Bring it on.
Jen: I’ve been intrigued by this one since the trailer first popped up a few weeks back, this is a streaming choice for sure.
Loren: Like, I know what’s going on here, but I don’t know what’s going on here. I do like that almost everyone in that movie, Edward Cullen included, looks like a real person. Sometimes “gritty real life” movies still look too polished. This does not.
RDT: So, apparently, this is really good, and
Cedric Diggory Robert Pattinson is really good in it. But the whole, “he wouldn’t jerk off a dog” thing has gone viral and now it’s all anyone is talking about. Regardless, it’s A24 (of Barely Lethal fame). So, it’ll stay on my radar and I’ll check it out eventually.
Rick: As terrible as they are, I’m glad Robert Pattinson endured the Twilight movies. Like Daniel Radcliffe, he’s made enough cash that he can basically take whatever role he wants, and he’ll be a vastly more interesting actor as a result. Count me in.
Jen: Twilight reference? Check. HP reference? Check. Um… not sure what other reference I can drop here… this movie does look interesting, not my cup of tea, but good for the guy from Like Water for Elephants.
The Only Living Boy in New York (Limited)
Loren: I’d like to think this is the third Amazing Spider-Man movie. It took a serious turn, but I think this is where Marc Webb wanted it to go.
RDT: I spent way too long looking for a gif to show how pretentious I think that looks.
Rick: It doesn’t ring so much as pretentious to me as it does predictable. Maybe when it hits Amazon Prime for free in a few months I’ll give it whirl, but I’m not super enthused by it, despite the talent involved.
Jen: The song the title is derived from is my very favorite song. So in a way I was a mark for this, but nothing else about the trailer really grabbed me. Good cast, though.
4 Days in France (Limited)
Loren: Oh cool, a movie about French Grindr.
RDT: I am intrigued, but not quite intrigued enough to see this rather than the eventual, mediocre American remake.
Rick: I’m the opposite of RDT. I feel like the original will be far more engaging and interesting than whatever American remake eventually trots into theaters. I’ll keep this on my radar.
Jen: Did Grindr sponsor this? This feels very… French.
Amelia 2.0 (Limited)
Loren: Coming this Fall to CBS, Amelia 2.0.
RDT: Interesting premise, I guess, but holy shit does that look terrible!
Rick: This idea has been explored before with varying degrees of success, but this looks way too sci-fi in some respects, and not enough in others. That and the male lead is a terrible actor. Don’t think I could sit through this.
Jen: Loren took my joke. This really looks like some sort of serial that lasts for three episodes before being shelved.
Loren: If all the stories aren’t fit to tell, then maybe you shouldn’t tell them at all. Also maybe this would be better suited as a online doc series broken into parts instead of a 2 hour movie.
RDT: Yeah, similar to what Rick said below, I feel like reading his Wiki page will fill that need.
Rick: I’m usually a mark for docs like this, but I feel like a feature article would be enough to slake my thirst for backstory on Hampton Fancher.
Jen: D. All of the above.
In This Corner of the World (Limited)
Loren: I was pretty into Anime when I was younger but that has subsided a bit. This looks pretty wonderful but I don’t see myself searching it out.
RDT: I’ve never been one to do a deep dive into foreign animation. I know there’s a lot, tons, of good stuff out there. It’s just never grabbed me, which makes me pretty shallow. I feel like if I am going to start, I should start with Studio Ghibli or that French one with the three floaty ladies. You know.
Rick: Feels like a more uplifting mix of Grave of the Fireflies and The Wind Rises. Count me in.
Jen: Little known fact, my dad is WAY into Anime. Should anime be capitalized? That’s how I feel about Anime, I’m not even sure of the word. Anyway, my dad will probably love this. So at least one Kilburn will be buying a ticket.
Look & See: A Portrait of Wendell Berry (Limited)
Loren: All the tilt-shift timelapse stuff made this feel like something you’d see at EPCOT Center. Also, I think this may be B-Roll the movie.
RDT: That’s a gorgeous trailer, but I have no idea what that movie is about.
Rick: Did Terrence Malick direct this? *looks it up* Nope, but he’s one of the producers, so it makes sense that it feels like every one of his most recent works: a beautiful, melancholy, tone poem.
Open Water 3: Cage Dive (Limited)
Loren: Hahahahahaha…. no. Even that trailer was a slog to get through. Don’t people know that shark movies are never going to get better than Deep Blue Sea? Jaws, I mean Jaws. Whew, saved my credibility there.
RDT: There was an Open Water 2????
Rick: Indeed there was, RDT, and it was terrible. This also looks hilariously bad. The first film, however, is worth watching.
Jen: The odds of dying from a shark attack are 1 in 900million UNLESS you’re in an Open Water sequel. Then I think the odds rise a bit, in favor of the sharks.
Loren: Is this the movie Tom Holland and Jon Bernthal were working on when they shot each other’s Marvel audition tapes?
RDT: Maybe….? (But probably not….)
Rick: It’s like Nicolas Winding Refn’s Valhalla Rising, but with a McGuffin. Sold.
Jen: Is Tom Holland old enough for me to think he’s hot yet? Something about that curly hobbit hair…
The Farthest (Limited)
Loren: Whoa. I kinda want to see that at a planetarium. Do those still exist?
RDT: Cool!!!! If I can keep this on my radar, I’ll definitely give it a watch.
Rick: If I think about the vastness of space for too long it makes me anxious, but that won’t stop me from thinking about it. I’m in for this.
Jen: Everything that Rick said. The whole thing.
The Trip to Spain (Limited)
Loren: I watched the sequel, The Trip to Italy, it was fine. There was a weird infidelity subplot though, which felt super strange and out of place. I don’t know that I’ll check this out.
RDT: I’ve never seen any other Steve Coogan stuff (except, ugh, Hamlet 2). I hear he’s funny (except for in, ugh, Hamlet 2). Maybe I’ll check his other stuff out, but I likely won’t start with this.
Rick: Meh. Not for me.
Jen: The first one was fun, yet I don’t see the need for the sequels.
The Veil (Limited)
Loren: I always wonder if actors know that the movie they are making is going to be terrible. Like did Serinda Swan think she was making the next Conan here or what?
RDT: That. Looks. Terrible.
Rick: This looks like it belongs on the SyFy Channel on a Saturday afternoon alongside Solomon Kane and Kull the Conqueror. I’ll pass.
Jen: No. No, thank you. No.
The Women’s Balcony (Limited)
Loren: I felt no connection to this movie.
RDT: I have no immediate feelings about this trailer.
Rick: I chuckled a few times, but I feel like I’m missing something of cultural importance. Consider me a maybe.
Jen: Apparently, I share Rick’s feelings on the vast-ness of the universe AND Jewish cinema. Man, how did we never get together?
Atypical – Season 1 (Netflix)
Loren: Maybe. It has a little bit of a Speechless feel to it. I doubt I’ll get into this though unless it gets rave reviews.
RDT: Feels a little cliched (“Dude, nobody’s normal.”). But I’m intrigued. I’ll give it an episode or two this weekend.
Rick: It’s good to see that autism is showing up more and more in mainstream entertainment, but I feel like you could have covered all the beats of this story in a feature rather than stretch it out over a series. Having said that, I’ll at least give the first episode a spin.
Jen: I have strong feelings on autism as my daughter is on the spectrum. It’s such a hard thing to dramatize and this doesn’t feel exploitative, so I’ll give a whirl. I’m cautiously optimistic but could sour on this quickly.
Loren: Didn’t even finish that trailer. I don’t need to see an unfunny version of Groundhog Day with Marlon Wayans.
RDT: Well that just doesn’t look the least bit funny at all.
Rick: Groundhog Wedding Day? I’m good, thanks.
Jen: Does anyone else think this screenplay started as the porn parody of Groundhog Day (Pound-hog Day?) and they ended up with a slightly larger budget than they needed and decided to go mainstream?
Get Shorty – Season 1 (Epix)
Loren: I don’t know. I like Chris O’Dowd a lot but don’t enjoy Ray Ramano that much. Plus this feels miscast all over the place. Once again, it’ll have to get pretty great reviews for me to search it out.
RDT: I’m curious, but I don’t have Epix. So, yeah.
Rick: I’m not sure we needed this remake, but the cast makes me want to see it. Also, I now have Epix, so that makes it much easier to sample.
Jen: I really don’t have strong feelings on this and I think I should. Ah, ambivalence.
Mr. Mercedes – Season 1 (Audience)
Loren: First off, what the fuck is AT&T doing making TV. Secondly, I’ve never heard of Audience before. All of that being said, this looks like a pretty interesting thriller TV show. Color me intrigued.
RDT: I’m also curious, but also don’t have Audience (wtf is Audience???). Rick’s description below makes me really want to read the book though. Which is weird because, despite being a King fan, I’m not a horror guy at all.
Rick: I started reading Stephen King before I hit my teen years, and remained a constant reader up until a few years ago. It’s not his fault I fell off. I just didn’t really connect with what he was writing. Then the premise for Mr. Mercedes was revealed, and I was certain I’d get back on the King train. I bought the book the day it was released and cracked it open that night. I was hooked from the opening paragraph, but I stopped reading after the first chapter. Not because it wasn’t good, mind you, but because it terrified me beyond reason. My hands were shaking when I put the book down and, despite my desire to power through it, I haven’t been able to bring myself to pick it back up. I don’t know if one could accurately recreate the abject terror the book’s opening gives rise to, but I am not about to find out. Also, I don’t have the Audience Network (It’s only available with DirecTV), so I’d be SOL for a few months until it hits home video anyway.
Jen: There is something that terrifies Rick? There’s a Stephen King book RDT hasn’t read? I’m learning a lot about you guys today. Seriously though, someone find out what Audience is. Please!
Difficult People – Season 3 (Hulu)
Loren: I love Billy on the Street but have very little desire to watch this.
RDT: I’m weirdly split on Billy Eichner. I think his stuff can be funny, but the gimmicky/yelly delivery bothers me. I’ve been meaning to check this out to see if he’s more reserved, but just haven’t gotten around to it yet.
Rick: There were two previous seasons?
Jen: I laughed a fair bit at this trailer and thought, I should go back and watch season 1. Then realized I don’t have Hulu and promptly forgot all about it.
Comrade Detective – Season 1 (Amazon)
Loren: Wait, am I supposed to believe that Channing Tatum keeps a knife on him? Anyway, what an odd concept. I think I love it. I’ll give it a whirl.
RDT: A little too weird for me.
Rick: It’s the right kind of weird for me, but this is another one where they’re stretching the premise into a series when it could have been a feature. I’ll give the first episode a shot just for kicks.
Jen: I love this. I am 100% in for this one.
So that’s your upcoming weekend in review. Let us know what you saw, liked and/or hated.
–Loren, RDT, Rick, and Jen