Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
Loren: You think she’ll be able to keep that accent up the whole time? This looks fine. Hopefully it’ll do well so we keep getting female driven action movies though.
RDT: If this leads to a Black Widow movie (and more kickass lady action stars), I’m all for it.
The Lady™: I’m going to pretend this is the Black Widow origin movie. I’m also going to pretend that J. Law and I are best friends. We both love wine, and movies, and sparkly dresses, and i could braid her hair, and she’ll take me to parties….
Jen: What Loren said.
Loren: *Sigh* ButWhy.gif This trailer tries to be more serious than the first but still this just isn’t what Death Wish is about. Sorry Bruce.
The Lady™: Vigilante: Senior Edition! No offence to Bruce, but isn’t he a little too old for this shit?
Jen: I hate just linking to an article, but: https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-used-death-wish-to-argue-for-more-guns-in-the-wake-of-a-school-shooting
Loren: Hey Chidi, what are you doing in low rent Annihilation?
RDT: Well that sure doesn’t look like…
a good place…. Yeah!!!!!
Jen: I think we could all use more Chidi in our lives, but did it have to be in this?
Loren: I just wish that looked better. Like not shot on a pro-sumer camera. Maybe I’m being picky.
RDT: You’re not, Loren. It looks terrible.
The Lady™: I don’t need a visually underwhelming movie convincing me I suddenly have a new mental issue. This is the cinematic version of checking WebMD.
Jen: Will I be watching this at a midnight screening a year from now? Will James Franco be starring in a behind the scenes making of this movie? Anything is possible.
The Vanishing of Sidney Hall
Loren: Aren’t I supposed to care about solving mysteries? I don’t even feel like going to the Wiki about this.
RDT: **shrugs** Sorry….I don’t care…..
The Lady™: TOTALLY in for this. A24 has been putting out some really great stuff, and this looks like no exception. As a teen drama connoisseur I’m almost guaranteed to enjoy it.
Jen: I went to the WIki and there’s nothing there. Maybe I’ll remember to check it out later, or… not.
Loren: You get a horror trope and you get a horror trope!
RDT: Based on Loren’s comment, I have no interest in this cinematic endeavor.
The Lady™: It’s neat they’re releasing the sequel to The Wasting the same week as the original.
Jen: So the baby is evil? The grandma is evil? The mom is evil? Meh, certainly one of them is evil and I don’t care enough to find out which.
The Big Bad Fox & Other Tales
Loren: This looks pretty cute and fun I just don’t know that I’ll ever get around to it.
RDT: What Loren said.
The Lady™: I love this style of animation. If it hits streaming, I’ll watch it for sure.
Jen: That does look cute and like something my 4 year-old would love, now if only she spoke French or could read subtitles…
Loren: When did they start making trailers for Film 301 Thesis projects?
scientists filmmakers were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.”
Jen: 1997 called, it wants its Quentin-Tarantino-rip-off-made-by-overzealous-college-kids-with- too-much-of-their-parents’-money back.
Loren: It’s good to know Pakistan can make pedestrian looking horror movies too.
RDT: Horror and reading? RDT OUT!
The Lady™: The toenail clipper scene at the end made me laugh. Wait…not a comedy? Okay. Then what Jen said.
Jen: Guys, I am not feeling any of these this week. Can I just go see Black Panther again?
Don’t Talk To Irene
Loren: This has all the right indie tropes to it. Awkward teen, dancing old people, overbearing mother that learns the error of her ways (presumably), a Kids in the Hall cast member, Geena Davis. All of them.
RDT: I have nothing else to add, except I get shades of Napoleon Dynamite, which changes nothing about my opinion of that trailer.
The Lady™: Even the jazzy inspirational pop song isn’t inspirational enough to make me watch this.
Jen: At least it’s not set in Brooklyn and I don’t hate every character already so… ya know, that’s something.
Dance Academy: The Comeback
Loren: Apparently this is a sequel movie to the Australian TV Series. I just feel like I’d be lost and that I don’t really care about these characters. Which is weird because I usually like dance movies.
RDT: I’m more “Step Up” and less pirouette.
The Lady™: Ever notice that all dance movies have a moment where some instructor yells “AGAIN!”?
Jen: Ballet stories are my crack. I read every Satin Slippers book when I was in Jr. High. I will watch this movie. I will make my daughter watch this movie. Bring. It. On.
Loren: Damn, that’s a lot of shit for one city. This could be interesting.
RDT: Definitely a story that needs telling….but I just have so many docs to catch up on already…..
The Lady™: Woah, that looks super intense! I’m interested to see how they portray both sides of this story. Definitely watching.
Jen: This feels like something I should know more about. Into the “queue” it goes.
B: The Beginning
Loren: If you ever wondered what an anime serial killer movie would be like, here’s your answer.
RDT: Not for me.
The Lady™: Oooo, NOPE! (My roommate will watch this at an ungodly loud volume, while I hide in my room watching Buffy reruns.)
Jen: How have I not used this gif for anything yet?
The Ravenous (Les Affamés)
Loren: A serious Zombie movie is still yet another Zombie movie.
RDT: Yup, sick of zombies.
The Lady™: Could be amazing. Could be terrible. I’ll never know!
Jen: I’d rather see that other zombie thing that’s out now with Ellen Page.
Marlon Wayans: Woke-ish (NSFW)
Loren: It’s a little strange seeing Marlon Wayans go full stereotypical Black comedian but maybe it’s funny.
RDT: Or maybe it’s not….
The Lady™: Marlon Wayans: Jokes that didn’t make it into Dave Chappelle’s new special.
Jen: “Donald Trump is the Flava Flav of white people” There now you’ve heard the funniest thing from this special and don’t need to watch.
Loren: This is cute looking but I don’t know that I could watch full episodes of it.
RDT: I like a good baking competition show. Not sure this is that, but I’ll give it a shot.
The Lady™: They turned a subreddit into a show, and somehow made it more obnoxious!
Jen: I have a lot of cooking shows on my plate, but I kind of love this idea.
Ash vs Evil Dead: Season 3 (Premiered last week)
Loren: How am I not watching this show? I love most things about it. I may have to rectify that.
RDT: I’m not paying for Starz for one show. Although, I do hear The Counterpart is really good…..
The Lady™: This actually looks really good! Is it weird to start a show on season 3?
Jen: RDT, don’t forget Outlander! Sigh. Jamie. Sigh.
CBS ALL ACCESS
The Good Fight: Season 2
Loren: I know one person on this list that’s excited for this! I mean, this show doesn’t look bad I just don’t know that I need a Lawyer show right now.
RDT: I forgot this was back. Well played, CBS All Access. Looks like you’ve got my $5/month for a little while longer….
The Lady™: Everything I know about The Good Universe I’ve learned from The Hollywood Picture News.
Jen: I’m happy for you, RDT.
So that’s your upcoming weekend in review. Let us know what you saw, liked and/or hated.
–Loren, RDT, The Lady™, and Jen