Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
Solo: A Star Wars Story
Loren: I know, I know, this movie shouldn’t exist. But it does and god dammit I’m kinda into it. As a lifelong Star Wars fan, I always like seeing more of the galaxy that Lucas created, which no matter what we’re getting here. And how could you be mad at Dong Lover’s portrayal of Lando. You can’t. Early word is it’s “fun”. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good but I’ll take fun. In.
RDT: I am so back and forth on this. Hopeful, but not excited….? I dunno. I already have tickets, so I guess it’s moot.
The Lady™: I’m one of the two people who actually really enjoyed Ehrenreich’s performance in Beautiful Creatures (Hey, Crystal!) I’m trying to remain cautiously optimistic and not get too excited. But, also….STAR WARS!!! SQUEE!!
Jen: Jen’s out, but she wanted to make sure you knew that she’s “super psyched to see Lando, which is opening this week. So glad they’re doing a good Lando-based prequel.”
Loren: Ah yes, the old sexy period drama. This time with the added bonus of X-Men Origins: Mary Shelley. I’m sure The Lady™ will want to see this. If she’s watching it and I’m around so be it.
RDT: Meh. Can we just get a new, good, Frankenstein movie? Or not. Nevermind.
The Lady™: Loren is correct. This was already on my radar, and I’m very excited for it!
Loren: Sighted people never look blind, it’s a fact. Anyway, this movie looks like a decent thriller filled with pretty people. I don’t see (get it) why I wouldn’t watch this, streaming of course.
RDT: I feel like I’ve seen this movie before, like a lot. Pass.
The Lady™: God, I love Natalie Dormer so much. I’m not likely to see this in theaters, but you bet your butt I’m gonna hop on it the second it hits streaming.
How to Talk to Girls at Parties
Loren: Two Elle Fanning movies this week. Huh. This looks just weird enough that it could either be hilarious or fucking awful. I’m hoping for the former. If I hear it’s good, I’ll check it out.
RDT: Is this not an instructional video? I had hoped this would be an instructional video. Regardless, it’s A24, so I’ll keep it on my radar.
The Lady™: *these are few of my favorite things*
London punk scene? Check! Quirky teenage romance? Double check!! Neil Gaiman? Triple Check!!!
Loren: I probably should, but I have no feelings about this movie.
RDT: I googled Misandrist. A person who dislikes, despises, or is strongly prejudiced against men. K.
The Lady™: As much as I love a fantastic femme indie romp, this almost looks…too indie?
The Gospel According to André
Loren: He’s huge! I had no idea. As far as the movie, this looks like a fine documentary that will make the Doc Doc™ but will live somewhere toward the bottom of that list.
RDT: I’m not a fashion guy, though I am wearing a belt today! So this just reminds me that I need to watch the Andre the Giant HBO doc. Oh and the Garry Shandling one, too.
Loren: “Based on a true story”. But why did we have to know that? It changes nothing knowing that this stuff really happened. These slice of life movies aren’t really my bag, couple that with subtitles and I’m out.
RDT: Loren said “subtitles.” Sorry, but I’m out.
The Lady™: I genuinely have no idea what this movie is about.
Loren: Man, I’ve seen teen soap operas with better… well, everything than that. Sorry The Philippines this one isn’t gonna happen.
RDT: Can I just watch… anything else?
The Lady™: Yeah, I think I’m all set.
Loren: Holy shit does that look bad. I’d say they all did that for boat payments but that movie couldn’t have paid that much. Maybe they all got high together and thought about making a Mad Max movie as a vacation.
RDT: I’m just gonna rewatch Fury Road.
The Lady™: I would’ve said “I’ll watch Milla Jovovich in anything!” This is where I draw the line. Pass.
How Long Will I Love U
Loren: I like the concept but let’s be serious. I’m never going to see this movie. I’ll let RDT cast the American remake. Maybe I’ll see that.
RDT: Shit, now I have to actually watch the trailer. Ummm…..Zac Efron and Anna Kendrick….? Also, I kinda liked that trailer. I may not wait for the American remake. Or maybe I’ll just watch The Lake House instead.
The Lady™: Could be cute? I really like the premise, and I giggled a few times at the trailer. If it hits streaming, I might give it a go.
Fury of the Fist and the Golden Fleece
Loren: I love a good martial arts comedy, but this looks to fail at both of those things. I can understand failing at the comedy part when you hire that many real fighters but to also fail at the martial arts? Unacceptable.
RDT: Totally agree with Loren. It’s trying way too hard, throwing all the spaghetti against the wall, but not waiting to see what actually sticks. Mmmmm….spaghetti.
The Lady™: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, NO. Wait…was that Goldberg?!
Loren: A virus that only awakens at night doesn’t make any scientific sense but other than that this looks like a decent horror flick. I look forward to seeing it at Horrorfest one year.
RDT: I’ll pass, or end up watching it from Rick’s kitchen. Hi Rick! I miss you.
The Lady™: Tropey trope trope trope, nope trope on a rope with soap.
Tig Notaro: Happy to be Here
Loren: I like Tig Notaro and this special looks fine. I’ll give it a whirl.
RDT: I like Tig as a person, as least from what I’ve seen. But I’ve never quite clicked with her comedy. I’ll probably give it a shot nonetheless.
The Lady™: Yes! I’ve never seen any of her previous specials, but the trailer for this is hitting me hard. I’m very much looking forward to it.
— Toys That Made Us (@toysthatmadeus) May 2, 2018
The Toys That Made Us Season 2
Loren: This second season has some of my personal favorites (LEGO, Transformers) so I’m really stoked on it. I mean, obviously the LEGO episode was written just for me. But I’m kinda into seeing what the Transformers one has to say. At any rate, I was really happy with the first season, and this one shouldn’t be any different. Also, shout out to my buddy Ben who was one of the editors on the LEGO episode!
RDT: I still need to watch the Barbie episode from season one. But I’m totally in for this, too.
The Lady™: SUCH a good show. Nerds talking about nerdy stuff always has the potential of getting boring. This show somehow avoids all of that, and simply brings back the pure joy and total excitement of childhood.
Fauda Season 2
Loren: There was a season 1? Who knew?
The Lady™: ???????????
Trollhunters Season 3
Loren: I think it’s funny that Dreamworks makes both this series and the movie Trolls. Like, pick a side man.
RDT: Didn’t watch season blah blah blah……
The Lady™: If I was a kid, I’d be unbelievably stoked for this.
Loren: This movie Britta’d it.
RDT: Ibiza is Spanish and English. In Spanish, it should be pronounced ‘Ee-bee-tha’. In English, it can be pronounced ‘Eye-bee-tha’ but ‘Ee-bee-tha’ is acceptable too if a little pretentious. Under no circumstances should it be pronounced as if it rhymes with ‘eat pizza’ (unless you are in the 90s pop group the Vengaboys).
The Lady™: Ok, yes. But only because of Vanessa Bayer. And I’ve got a lot of laundry to do.
Steve Martin and Martin Short: An Evening You Will Forget for the Rest of Your Life
Loren: I love them. That is all.
RDT: So in for this. So in. Like, really really in.
The Lady™: Of course!
The Break with Michelle Wolf
Loren: I like Michelle Wolf but her voice certainly is grating. This is some weird hybrid of the Daily Show and Inside Amy Schumer. Let’s hope it works.
RDT: Maybe….? I feel like I get my fill of these types of shows from John Oliver and whatever clips from other shows go viral.
The Lady™: I just don’t care…sorry.
Loren: Wait, is this trying to tell us that it was ok for her to have had a relationship with adults when she was a child? No thank you.
RDT: I don’t think it’s doing that, per se. Maybe it’s more of a repressed memory type thing? I’m curious. If reviews are good, I’ll give it a watch….or completely forget about it.
The Lady™: That trailer completely hooked me. I’ll let you guys know how it is!
Picnic at Hanging Rock
Loren: First two Elle Fanning movies and now two Natalie Dormer projects. You go pretty, fair skinned, blonde, white girls! Also, I don’t know what this is about.
The Lady™: What year is this set in? What the hell is happening? Of course I’m going to watch it, just looking for a heads up on what I’m in for?
So that’s your upcoming weekend in review. Let us know what you saw, liked and/or hated.
As always, you can find us on Facebook at facebook.com/hollywoodpicturenews, Instagram at instagram.com/hollywoodpicturenews, or @HWPicNews on Twitter. And send in your questions/comments to firstname.lastname@example.org.
–Loren, RDT, and The Lady™