Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
Loren: I sort of have lost my love for the jackassery of these guys. Plus they are starting to get a little too old for this shit. Someone (else) is going to actually get hurt. Pass.
RDT: I thought the fake grandpa movie was kinda funny. This one? Not so much.
Jen: I am not the target audience of this film.
Loren: Hello one of my unfounded biggest fears. It’s not like a fear of open water but there is definitely a fear of being stranded and dying alone. Cool. I don’t know that I’ll be able to sit through this one.
RDT: It doesn’t look terrible, but it does look like a movie I’ve seen before, a lot. Also, the trailer reveals way too much. #standardtrailercomplaint
Jen: I’d be less freaked out by a shark movie than this. I’ll just watch a Jaws marathon instead, thanks.
Loren: Well that looks like a lot of bloody futuristic fun. Sign me up.
RDT: Yeah, I’m kind of into that. Maybe not in the theater, but I’ll keep it on my radar for streaming.
Jen: This looks… fine. Sure, air-conditioning, popcorn, I can dig it for those purposes.
Yo Soy Pepito
Loren: No me gusta Pepito.
Jen: I’ll admit that during this trailer, I was distracted by two texts, an email, my daughter dropping a pile of cups on the floor and a delivery. But I really don’t think I missed much.
Loren: Well that certainly looks like a movie. Ted Mosby adulterer doesn’t have the same ring but good for Noël Wells getting that feature lead.
RDT: I like Noël Wells and some of the other cast (sit down, Mosby). But this looks like a movie I’ve seen a million times before.
Jen: This feels like it’s a Showtime show. Single, poor white girl with issues. Sort of Shameless meets sMilf? Meh.
Veere Di Wedding
Loren: Bollywood Bridesmaids. That’s it. That’s how this got sold. It’s fine.
RDT: Loren and Jen said it better.
Jen: I thought Sex in the City in Mumbai, but Loren’s take works too.
Loren: Biopic is gonna biopic. I wish this one was about Rodan instead.
RDT: So Rick said it’s pronounced “bio pic,” as if it were two words. As such, anyone that pronounces it “biopic” going forward will lose my respect. Or something. I don’t know. I thought that was funny. It’s not. I don’t care about this movie. I’m sorry.
Jen: That trailer felt more than 2 minutes long. I think I fast-forwarded through the first half hour of it and then gave up.
Loren: Australian Surfing Coming of Age movie is not a genre that I knew existed. But here we are.
RDT: Well this one definitely doesn’t feel like I’ve seen it before. And it looks…fine. So… maybe?
Jen: From Loren’s description I did not think I’d like that trailer as much as I did. Maybe it’s the accents? I usually hate male coming-of-age movies, but… yeah it must be the accents.
Loren: I get a strong I, Tonya vibe from that trailer. Not a bad thing. I like the not based on the true story slant and I’m kinda curious about this one. Maybe when it’s streaming.
RDT: I like a good heist movie. This may not be that, but I’m into it.
Jen: I love Evan Peters and this looks like a showcase for him. Also, you can’t go wrong with a heist movie, especially with a unique twist. I’m down for this one for sure.
All Summers End
Loren: Kaitlyn Dever is one of the best parts of Justified and that was when she was just a kid. It’s interesting seeing her get a Coming of Age love story with Ready Player One. Like in my head it doesn’t fit but then I think about it and go, “oh yeah, I guess that’s right.”
RDT: Jumping on what Loren said, Tye Sheridan really feels too old for this pairing. But, in the trailer, it didn’t bug me. Maybe this sat on the shelf for a couple years…? Anyway, I’m probably still not going to watch this.
Jen: I’ve officially reached the age where I see movies like this and imagine myself as the mom. I could do worse the Annabeth Gish I suppose, but still, I think I’m a little too old for this one.
A Kid Like Jake
Loren: It’s really weird to see Jim Parsons playing a “normal” person. Gender Fluidity is an interesting topic, but I’m not sure if it will carry a full film.
RDT: I was kinda into this. I’ll keep it on my radar.
Jen: Glad this is a topic getting its due. I feel guilty that I found that trailer boring.
Arrested Development Season 5
Loren: I still need to go back and watch the remixed Season 4 which I didn’t love the first go around but I’m in for this. I like these terrible people.
RDT: I’m somewhere between Loren and Jen.
Jen: I feel like I shouldn’t watch this in light of a lot of the behind the scenes stuff, but it could be really funny. Season 4 was just OK, but the original material was so good I might still have tune in just to see if they can reclaim the glory days.
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Season 4
Loren: Oops I never got further than episode 2 of Season 2. I’ll probably just binge all of this when it wraps up with a movie next year.
RDT: What Loren said.
Loren: Whoa. I teared up at that trailer. This looks like one hell of a powerful doc.
RDT: There are times in my life when I don’t understand the world we live in. I don’t understand why people do the things they do. I don’t know/think that this will give me any answers/resolution, but it definitely looks worth a watch.
Jen: Good looking, if heartbreaking doc. Looks worth checking out.
Loren: I like Brian Cox and Kieran Culkin so… maybe? I wonder if this would have been better served as a movie or a miniseries than a full fledged series.
RDT: I have no interest in watching rich people fight other rich people, even if they’re related.
Jen: I keep seeing this trailer before Westworld and every week I go back and forth on whether I’m curious or annoyed by it. I think I’ll give it a shot for Brian Cox, if nothing else.
All or Nothing: New Zealand All Blacks
Loren: It’s interesting to take the “All or Nothing” or “Hard Knocks” format and port it to a Rugby club. I don’t know really anything about Rugby so I doubt I’ll watch this, but it looks pretty cool.
Jen: That one guy is super hot. If you read this column regularly you will probably guess which one I mean. Other than that, I have few feelings on this.
Loren: Starz getting into the true crime doc game. I don’t subscribe to their network anymore so I’ll probably just wiki to see if they actually get these guys off from the murders they say they didn’t commit.
RDT: What Jen said is what I would say if Jen hadn’t already said it.
Jen: If I had Starz I’d totally watch this. If this were on a different service I’d totally watch this. It’s a shame really.
So that’s your upcoming weekend in review. Let us know what you saw, liked and/or hated.
As always, you can find us on Facebook at facebook.com/hollywoodpicturenews, Instagram at instagram.com/hollywoodpicturenews, or @HWPicNews on Twitter. And send in your questions/comments to email@example.com.
–Loren, RDT, and Jen