Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
The Happytime Murders
Loren: Be careful what you wish for 2010 Loren, you may get it. Boy does that look not funny at all. Also over 8 years in development can’t be a good sign. Pass.
RDT: I chuckled a little more than my cohorts. I won’t rush out to see it, but I’ll give it a watch once it goes streaming.
Rick: Every movie Melissa McCarthy has made with her husband has been a creative letdown (see: The Boss, Tammy, Life of the Party). This looks to continue the trend. Also, Peter Jackson kinda did this already in 1989 with Meet the Feebles. I’m not saying that movie is great, but Happy Time Murders isn’t breaking any new ground here.
Jen: No. I did not laugh but I did cringe. That can’t be a good sign.
Loren: For a movie using the Unfriended style of shooting this actually looks pretty tense. It might even be a good wake up call to show how much and how little we can get from people’s online personas. But I still don’t think I’m going to see it.
RDT: I also am a John Cho fan. But I feel like I’d get burnt out on the gimmick pretty quick. Also, since it’s all shot on “screens,” what’s the need to see it in theaters?
Rick: Apparently this is the first in a series of a planned fourteen (!) movies in what the producer is calling “ScreenLife” style; meaning all the stories are told inside computers/monitors/phones, etc. This looks decent, but fourteen? Even if the stories are compelling this is going to get old after maybe two or three of them.
Jen: I love me some John Cho and this actually looks less gimmicky than I would have thought. I think we’ll see a lot more films in this style and most won’t be good, but this one has some potential.
Loren: ET meets Short Circuit meets Lassie meets Beethoven. In other words, I’ve never seen this movie but I’ve definitely seen this movie.
RDT: Because I’ve already seen this movie a million times, I’m never going to watch this movie.
Rick: Looks like another “quality” entry into the burgeoning robot dog subgenre. Who wants to binge watch this along with A.R.C.H.I.E., Robo-Dog, and Robo-Dog: Airborne? Huh? Who’s with me? Hey! Where are you going?! Awww. I ordered pizza and everything…
Jen: This reminded me a lot of Monster Trucks for some reason. This definitely feels like a movie that would have come out in the mid-80s and that I would have watched on VHS at my best friend’s house.
Loren: Ah, a Jesus movie masked as an escape from African Warlords movie. You thought you could pull the wool over our eyes but we see you.
RDT: No thanks, Jesus.
Rick: There’s way too much going on in that trailer for what should be a pretty simple story. Sneaky Jesus-ness pushes this even further into ‘no thanks’ territory.
Jen: Oooo, Loren’s right this one is a sneaky Christian movie. That doesn’t preclude it from being good, but, let’s be honest, it doesn’t look that good.
The Day After Valentine’s
Loren: It’s so weird to see what easily could have been any American indie movie made somewhere else. In this case The Philippines. But I guess that just shows how similar humans are all over.
Rick: The story is definitely familiar and, to me, distinctly American in its style. Is that because, like Loren said, humans are the same all over or is it because American movies have permeated the world? Discuss.
Jen: What is Filipino for “Manic Pixie Dream Girl”
Loren: Well doesn’t that just look super British.
RDT: I dunno, guys. I was kinda into that trailer. I won’t rush out to see it. And it’s more than likely that I’ll actually forget about it. But if I remember, I will watch it, eventually.
Rick: Thanks, Trailer. I now feel like I’ve seen that whole movie. Saves me a couple hours.
Jen: This feels like a spoof of a British art-house movie, rather than an actual one.
Support the Girls
Loren: This looks cute enough, I guess. I did just read an article (ok a headline… from a series of tweets…whatever) that said Hooters is changing its ways slightly because Millennials aren’t that into boobs. Which is just silly. This made me think of that. That’s all I got.
RDT: Regina Hall is the only reason I’d see this movie. But it IS a pretty good reason.
Rick: This just looks like a less wacky/more dramatic version of movies like Gas Pump Girls or Used Cars or even Waiting. Meh.
Jen: This looks like a great vehicle for Regina KIng and I laughed a fair bit at this trailer. I’d check this out streaming for sure.
Peter Pan: The Quest for the Never Book
Loren: Is Peter Pan in the public domain like The Jungle Book or The Little Mermaid? Or is this just some weird knock off that they are hoping gets by Disney? Either way this looks like a movie made from video game cutscenes that you’d find in a 14 movies for a Nickel bin at Walmart.
RDT: Apparently, Peter Pan is in the public domain (at least according to this one thread I came across….and that’s enough research for me). Oh and this looks like hot garbage.
Rick: DQ Entertainment? Do I get a free Blizzard if I manage to sit through this animated crapfest?
Jen: That is some bad animation. This looks like an extra feature on a Disney DVD showing the first drafts of characters and animation from the early days of the project.
Loren: I don’t know why but I can’t seem to get into this movie. It’s not even the prison stuff which you’d think it would be. Maybe I’ll change my tune at some point down the road but I wouldn’t hold my breath.
RDT: That trailer didn’t do a damn thing for me.
Rick: Movies that didn’t need a remake. Pass.
Jen: Is that Rami Malek? Good for him, but I’ll wait for the Freddie Mercury doc.
RDT: That was the least sexy “sexy movie” trailer I think I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen Basic Instinct 2.
Rick: Since the trailer did nothing but confuse me, I had to go read up on this story. Now that I’ve looked into it I’m curious, but not over the moon about it. Honestly, I’m more interested in reading the books the film is culled from. Regardless, I may catch this down the line if the mood strikes.
Jen: I want to find this sexy but really just find it off-putting.
RDT: I think I need glasses. Those subtitles were super small. I could barely read them for the 15 seconds of this trailer that I watched.
Rick: It’s certainly a load.
Jen: Wow! That’s a lot of movie. That stache tho’. That’s all I got.
Loren: I’m glad these hard boiled Hong Kong action flicks are still getting made but there’s a myriad of better choices out there than this.
RDT: Loren, I think you should change your name to “L Storm.” And then become a hitman or private detective.
Rick: Apparently this is the third in the series, so unless I have an overwhelming urge to go back and watch Z Storm and S Storm, I’m not going to bother with this one.
Jen: I just cannot get into this. Next!
I Am Vengeance
Loren: Hey! Good for Stu (FKA Wade) Barrett. He’s an ex WWE wrestler that was in a few of their action flicks and at least he’s doing some more acting. I mean this looks hilariously bad but in a fun way. Maybe Rick can pair this with one of The Marine sequels for a silly movie night.
RDT: I’ll only watch it if Rick screens it, or they remake it with Jason Statham.
Rick: That looks so dumb and I love the hell out of it. Look forward to the impromptu double feature Loren suggested.
Jen: Hahahahaha! I look forward to finding this one in a bin at a truck stop the next time I’m driving home from Vegas.
Magic For Humans (premiered Aug. 17th)
Loren: Justin Willman was in my graduating class at Emerson, we were acquaintances at worst, friendly at best. I’m glad he’s taken the magic that he’s been doing for years and has parlayed it into a show like this. Good for him.
RDT: Ok, this looks like a hell of a lot of fun. Count me in.
Rick: I enjoy me some magic, but I prefer seeing this kind of thing live. Cameras/editing take some of the shine off the performance for me.
Jen: I know a lot of people think magic is corny, but I think it’s fun and this seems like a nice diversion for laundry folding and such.
Loren: When Buzzfeed actually does news it’s not so bad. This looks like their version of Vice but for Netflix. Could be interesting, could be terrible. I guess we’ll find out.
RDT: I read BuzzFeed everyday (yes, I’m that guy….. But I don’t rarely take the quizzes!). So, sure, I’ll give it a shot.
Rick: Are these likely good? Probably. Will I make time to watch them? Probably not.
Jen: They don’t seem to be taking themselves too seriously here, which is good. This feels very much like a video version of a podcast, which isn’t a bad idea. Sort of a mim-documentary series on current cultural topics. It’s not the most unique idea but they seem to have a refreshingly light take on some serious issues to keep it from becoming all too depressing. Could be interesting.
Bert Kreischer: Secret Time
Loren: You guys know I love me some stand-up. This… I don’t know what to make of this. And not even because he decides to do his whole show without a shirt. I just wanted the jokes to be funnier and they just weren’t. Unless I hear it’s amazing this one will get passed over even after Netflix offers it to me hundreds of times.
RDT: The lack of shirt is off-putting. Also, I didn’t really laugh. So….pass.
Jen: I am not the target audience for this style of comedy.
Loren: I know I say it every week but just compare this to Load Wedding above. It’s awesome that the US isn’t the only country making truly different types of movies. Will I watch this? Meh, maybe. It looks sufficiently creepy, and I like that it’s a series rather than a movie. So yeah, maybe.
Rick: It bugs me that I can’t place it, but I’ve seen this movie before. Regardless, it’s tropey as hell. I’ll probably skip it.
Jen: That jump scare at the end though. I’m probably not going to be subjecting myself to that.
Loren: I have a lot of TV to get through before this but I might give it a go. British horror/scifi is for the most part pretty good. Though the more I look at it, it’s kinda like a Doctor Who plot stretched out over a series.
RDT: Not for me. But y’all enjoy it.
Rick: So, it’s a take on the Japanese “mujina” folklore. I’m okay with that. I just wish this was a movie, not a series.
Jen: This has a strong “Orphan Black” feel to me and I loved me some “Orphan Black” so maybe this will fill that void…
America to Me
Loren: Damn. Ok. You got me. Now I just have to figure out how to watch this even though I don’t have Starz.
RDT: Well, doesn’t that look pretty amazing. And the first 7 days are free when you download the Starz app. So, I may just wait for this series to finish then binge the f— out of it.
Rick: That does look damn good. Not sure if it’s ‘sign up for Starz’ good, but definitely worth seeking out down the line.
Jen: Well that looks fantastic. Anyone have a Starz login I can borrow?
So that’s your upcoming weekend in review. Let us know what you saw, liked and/or hated.
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–Loren, RDT, Rick, and Jen