Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
What Men Want
Loren: The first time I saw a trailer for this I laughed. This time not so much. If I still had cable I could see this being something I accidently channel surfed to and forgot to turn off down the road.
RDT: I’m a man (I think) and I don’t want this, despite the pretty good cast.
Rick: This is definitely not what I want. I also didn’t want the original version, so maybe these movies just aren’t for me.
The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part
Loren: I mean, obviously. LEGO is my thing. But I’m also hearing pretty great early word on this so that’s a nice incentive.
Loren: I thought he said he wasn’t going to do movies like this anymore.
RDT: If he doesn’t punch the snow, I’m out.
Rick: If this is half as good as the original Norwegian version (In Order of Disappearance) then I’m calling it a win. If you have to recast Stellan Skarsgard, it’s hard to go wrong with Liam Neeson.
The Wandering Earth
Loren: Wait, was that guy shooting a gatling gun at Jupiter?
RDT: Looks pretty. But it’s unlikely that I’ll ever see this movie.
Rick: I mean, who among us hasn’t wanted to fire a gatling gun at Jupiter? Planetary violence aside, this is an impressive effort, at least from the sci-fi spectacle standpoint. It’s certainly trying harder than most of the sci-fi we get stateside. Count me in.
Loren: I thought this movie was going to be set in the UK, due to all the Brits (and Australians I guess) but nope, that’s definitely LA. So now I don’t know what to think.
RDT: It’s like an independent movie but British!!!
Rick: Oh…I…no. No, thank you.
Under The Eiffel Tower
Loren: So the Veep guys wanted to make a paint by numbers Indie Romantic Comedy? Weird.
RDT: Yeah, I get the Sideways vibe. But it’s a great cast. The only thing I really question is Reid Scott’s terrible accent.
Rick: So, Sideways, but not funny or heartfelt?
Loren: I feel like I should be into that because of it’s… offbeatness?… but I just don’t care.
RDT: I feel like Rick will enjoy this kind of low key macabre humor. Me? Not so much.
Rick: I enjoy this kind of low key macabre humor. And that body farm in the trailer is a real place. There was a fascinating book about it called Death’s Acre. I’m in just to see how that whole part of the movie plays out.
Loren: Blah blah creepy kid. Pass.
RDT: Like Rick said below, this looks fairly generic. But I think Brightburn might be an interesting take on this sub-genre, mashed up with superheros.
Rick: This feels like a weird thing to write down, but killer kid movies haven’t really broken any new ground in ages. They only seem to work if they’re really over the top (basically all of them from the 70s plus Orphan) or when they feel kind of raw and believable (The Bad Seed, The Omen, The Good Son). This looks like Generic Creepy Kid Horror Movie #359 (cold color timing, blown out highlights, whispering kid, zero tension or mystery). Also, the screenwriter seems to be the guy you hire if you want new, flashy adaptations of an existing property (Pet Sematary, Jacob’s Ladder, Grudge). Gives me more than enough pause to let this one sail by.
The Man Who Killed Hitler And Then The Bigfoot
Loren: Boy that takes a turn huh? I’m interested in how this turns out but maybe not sit down for two hours and find out interested.
RDT: So, it’s a more serious, cheaper budgeted Big Fish? I am a fan of Ron Livingston and Sam Elliott, but this just didn’t grab me.
Rick: Look, I’m sorry, but you don’t get to have a title like that and not be a Troma-level horror comedy. This movie is a straight up drama with a couple of weird elements thrown in for…reasons? You can’t have it both ways, bub. Either come up with a more appropriate title or go full Roger Corman and make a movie that fits the title you thought was ridiculous enough to get you financing. At least Bubba Ho-Tep had the smarts to lean into its weirdness while giving you some nice character work to help ground it and make it unique.
Loren: It’s funny the pull quotes mentioned The Wicker Man and The VVitch at the exact time my brain was like, “this looks a little like The Wicker Man and The VVitch”. Hopefully this will be good enough to make it onto a Horrorfest bill down the line.
RDT: Oh no. No thank you.
Rick: Well, that looks both stylish and creepy. Sign me up.
The Gospel of Eureka
Loren: Religion makes me uncomfortable, no matter what lens we look at it from. This is definitely a fascinating subset but I don’t think I’ll be able to put that major piece aside.
RDT: If this pops up on one of the many streaming services I will end up paying for, I’ll give it a watch.
Rick: This looks great. Honestly, I would watch a doc just on the making of their Passion Play. It has some impressive production value.
Loren: See, I told you religion is creepy.
Rick: We don’t get a lot of nunsploitation movies these days, so points for that and the period setting. This does look pretty by the numbers, though. Bousman’s output, even after his run of Saw films, has been on the gorier side, so I’d expect that to be the case here. I may pull this up when I need some quick and easy horror, but I’m not going out of my way for it.
Lords of Chaos
Loren: Getting a real theme going here.
RDT: You know, ummm, I think I’m good. Enjoy!
Rick: Well, I was supposed to see this before it opened, but the screening got postponed. This minor setback isn’t going to stop me from checking this out sooner than later, however. This is one of the most brutal true stories in all of music. I can’t wait to see how it’s handled.
The Divorce Party
Loren: That’s a terrible trailer for what is most likely a terrible movie.
RDT: That’s a movie.
Rick: I threw up in my mouth a little.
The Amityville Murders
Loren: Meh. Just another retread of a boring haunted house movie.
RDT: If Rick has no interest in this movie, I sure as hell aint ever gonna watch it.
Rick: Gonna be honest. I didn’t even watch the trailer. We’ve been getting some kind of Amityville movie every few years since 1979. It’s beyond tired. Now it’s just sad.
Loren: I know me and I know that I’ll probably never see this. Even if it gets stellar reviews it’ll sit at the back of the queue forever. Sorry.
RDT: I’m intrigued. And the cast is pretty stellar. Sure, in.
Rick: I love the little misdirect at the start of the trailer. Between that turn, the director, and the cast, I’m very much in for this.
Berlin, I Love You
Loren: How long until we get Milwaukie, I Love You?
RDT: I misheard and thought he said “Come down! So I can show you my butt lint!” **shrugs**
Rick: Recycled Premise: The Movie!
A Violent Man
Loren: I just want this to look better than it does. I’m good.
RDT: This is not the kind of boxing movie that interests me. Pass.
Rick: Not what I was expecting at the outset. I think I’ll wait for reviews, though.
Ray Romano: Right Here, Around The Corner
Loren: I guess it turns out I just didn’t like Everybody Loves Raymond because between this, The Big Sick, and Brad Garrett on Single Parents it’s showing me it was just that show.
RDT: Ray Romano was a funny standup comic. I hope this shows he still is one.
Rick: Awww. I forgot how much I like Ray Romano. In the queue it goes.
¡Nailed It! Mexico
Loren: I still haven’t watched the US flavor one yet. If I like that, then maybe this spinoff will be next.
RDT: Surprisingly, I’m not a fan of the US version (though the Jason Mantzoukas was a delight). So I will likely pass on this. (Unless Jason Mantzoukas shows up…..)
Rick: Baking shows are not my bag, man.
High Flying Bird
Loren: Oh yeah I’m into that. Been a while since we’ve had a non-comedy basketball movie that also looks good.
RDT: Oh, I liked that a lot. Into the queue it goes! Slam dunk! (Sorry…..)
Rick: I wouldn’t usually count myself as a mark for a basketball movie, but that has a hell of a pedigree behind it. Another one for the queue.
One Day At A Time Season 3
Loren: I’ve never watched a frame of this show and have too many sitcoms to keep up with as it is.
RDT: I love this show and am excited for season 3. If you don’t watch it, change that. It’s so well done.
Rick: I’m glad this show is doing well, but it is not for me.
Loren: I love The Lonely Island but I need some reviews on this before committing any time to it.
RDT: Adult women playing teenagers interacting with actual teenagers is weird, man.
Rick: I appreciate weird, out there kind of comedy, but this might be a little too much for me.
Teddy Pendergrass: If You Don’t Know Me
Loren: Yeah I’m with Rick down below. I don’t know that I need a full length doc about this story. I’ll do some research on the old internets to find out what happened.
RDT: Not gonna lie. When I saw the title, I initially, mistakenly, thought it was a doc about Teddy Geiger’s transition. It is not that. **shrugs**
Rick: I’m curious about the story, but I don’t know that I need a full doc on it. Maybe a good Rolling Stone article.
2 Dope Queens New Specials
Loren: I didn’t catch this the first go ‘round but I like the people involved (and some of the guests). If I feel like I need this specific genre of comedy’s itch scratched, I know where to go.
RDT: Never listened to the podcast. So I doubt I’ll watch the specials.
Rick: I’ve never been big into the whole comedy chat show thing. I’m out.
Loren: I just finished watching a lot of Doctor Who so it’s really weird to see Phil Simm not playing The Master. Other than that this looks like a solid mystery but it has the same problem all Amazon shows have for me, I’ll forget to check the app to watch it.
RDT: It’s been a while since I’ve seen a good, adult thriller. I’ll give it a shot. Sure.
Rick: Oh yeah. Super in. Gimme all the weird, double-life mystery.
So that’s your upcoming weekend in review. Let us know what you saw, liked and/or hated.
As always, you can find us on Facebook at facebook.com/hollywoodpicturenews, Instagram at instagram.com/hollywoodpicturenews, or @HWPicNews on Twitter. And send in your questions/comments to firstname.lastname@example.org.
–Loren, RDT, The Lady™, Rick, and Jen