Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
Loren: The concept here is a lot of fun, the execution doesn’t do it for me. To say I’m not the demo for this is putting it lightly.
RDT: I am not a child nor do I have a child. Not to say animated properties must be only for children. Just saying this one seems to be.
Rick: This one is definitely for younger kids. Since I do not have any I’m unlikely to check this one out.
Jen: This does nothing for me, but looks like something my 5-year old would drag me to the theater for so…
Loren: I had only seen TV spots for this and they looked horrible. I kept thinking, ”how many boats does John Goodman have?” It kinda looked that crappy invasion show on USA with Sawyer from LOST. Anyway this looks so much better than that. I’ll keep it on my radar.
RDT: Definitely in for this, maybe even this weekend if my local AMC is showing it. I got a gift card burning a hole in my pocket!
Rick: Please be good. We need more smart sci-fi.
Jen: John Goodman is looking good! I like the idea of this and hope it’s more Arrival and less every other invasion Sci-fi.
Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase
Loren: This felt a little cheap to me. Like not quite a major studio feature and not quite a Nickelodeon original. Once again I’m not the demographic here so I think I’ll pass.
RDT: I saw the trailer for this the other day. Looks harmless enough and I’m never gonna see it.
Rick: I kept thinking while watching the trailer: “Is this a sequel? Wasn’t there a Nancy Drew movie like two years ago?” 1) No. It’s a relaunch. 2) That Nancy Drew movie I was thinking of came out twelve freaking years ago. I may never watch this incarnation, but it looks pretty charming.
Jen: I found this surprisingly cute. I can’t say I’ll be running out to see this, but I could see watching this on a streaming device in the future.
Five Feet Apart
RDT: I’m kind of over the “sick teen” trope. And yes, it’s become a trope. Add in what Jen said below and I’m a hard pass.
Rick: Gross. This feels super exploitative. CF is a savage ailment. It’s not something you use as a plot point to make a sappy romance.
Jen: Ugh. No. A friend who has CF pointed out how tasteless this whole campaign is. People are tagging the movie when they talk about how they understand how the girl feels because their boyfriend lives far away. The whole thing seems in poor taste.
Loren: This reminded me that I need to catch up on Luther.
RDT: Good for Idris Elba breaking out of his acting box. I still have no desire whatsoever to see this movie. Sorry.
Rick: I didn’t realize this was hitting theaters already. Idris Elba is a talented guy. This is on my shortlist to see in theaters.
Jen: Two Idris Elba options this week? Yum!
Loren: Cool. No thanks.
RDT: Is this a Jesus movie? It feels a little like a Jesus movie. But I don’t think Robert Redford would produce a Jesus movie. Regardless, I’m out. I’m not really a horse guy.
Rick: This is another one of those trailers that feels like it gives away every emotional beat in the movie. Unless the reviews are glowing, I’m okay missing this.
Jen: This looks like I’d expect a Robert Redford movie to look. Not for me, but looks good for those who like that sort of thing.
The Hummingbird Project
Loren: I was ready to be like “what happened to Jesse Eisenberg?” but this looks better than anticipated. I’ll check it out eventually.
RDT: Seems like an interesting take on a heist flick. And I do love a good heist flick. I’ll keep it on the radar and check it out when it hits the ‘flix.
Rick: The idea isn’t necessarily unique. The high-speed lines for stock trading factors into Warren Ellis’ novel Gun Machine (which is worthy of an adaptation), but there it’s only a small part of a more complex story. However, like RDT, I’m a sucker for a heist movie. I’ll give this a go.
Jen: Alexander Skarsgard and that hair! I agree with all that RDT said above.
Loren: Looks like we’re heading into the Spring of Skarsgard! No? Oh, ok.
RDT: I like the leads, but this trailer bored me.
Rick: Thank Jebus this is coming out. I’m tired of seeing this trailer when I go to the movies. This looks like pretty standard fare. I mean, that’s fine, but it does nothing for me.
Jen: Did we already review this or did I just watch the trailer on my own? This is Alexander Skarsgard with a better hair, so maybe I’m in or that alone?
Loren: We don’t deserve dogs or Chris Evans, but maybe let’s not let him take a bunch of ‘ludes before recording VO.
RDT: That’s a terrible title, and pretty awful VO on the trailer. But still, I like dogs. So, I’ll keep an eye out for it. Not paying $20 to see it in Imax though.
Rick: Puppy! I want the puppy! I do not, however, understand why this is 1) an IMAX-worthy movie and, 2) why this wasn’t pitched as a series for, hell, any network. You could make ten episodes of this and just rake in viewership.
Jen: Isn’t Netflix doing a Dog thing? I get it that dogs are in, but I can’t be willy-nilly throwing money at an IMAX screen.
Never Grow Old
RDT: I don’t for a second believe John Cusack in that role. On top of that, this looks terrible. Lastly, based on the title, I thought it was a vampire western. Where can I see that? And old school western with a vampire twist!
Rick: The answer to your question, RDT is Curse of the Undead (1959). Or, if you want to punish yourself, Billy the Kid vs. Dracula. That aside, I think John Cusack has just given up. Seems like he’s just phoning it in more and more. Even if you swapped in a different actor I don’t think I’d bother with this meh-looking story.
More Than Blue
Loren: So like just a brighter blue?
RDT: Yeah, I’m never gonna watch this movie.
Rick: I’m sad that the “Special Appearance by Bruce” was not Bruce Springsteen. Or, even better, Bruce Vilanch. You would have gotten me to watch in either case.
Jen: I was hoping for Bruce the shark from Jaws – that would have been the perfect ending to this.
Mission of Honor
RDT: I’m burnt out on good WWII movies. So it’s highly unlikely I’m gonna see what looks like a bad one.
Rick: This feels like a premature mockbuster for Ridley Scott’s unproduced Battle of Britain movie. If I wanted to watch a mediocre depiction of this event, I’d rather go back and watch the movie from the late 60s. At least that has Laurence Olivier and Michael Caine to carry it.
Jen: It’s great to see they’re finally making some movies about WWII.
RDT: Look, it’s an interesting premise, but I’ve never seen any other caveman movie (or sitcom). So, it’s unlikely I’ll start with this one.
Rick: If I have to watch a movie about a caveman, I’ll go back and watch Iceman from 1984. Hell, I think I’d rather sit through Caveman with Ringo Starr.
For Love Or Money
Loren: Well that was awful. Who wants to watch two hours (more like 90 minutes) of terrible people? Oh, everyone that’s ever watched any of the shows I work on? Got it.
RDT: Damn, that trailer showed so much I feel like I saw the whole movie. It was cute. I might check it out later.
Rick: Ugh. They’re both awful. Just. Break. Up. With. Her. Dipshit.
Finding Steve McQueen
Loren: There’s a really awesome movie in there somewhere. Too bad we didn’t find it.
RDT: More traditional heist flick. Looks terrible. But good for them nonetheless.
Rick: Every time Forrest Whitaker asked a question in that trailer I found my answer to be “I don’t care”.
Jen: Nice try guys but no thanks.
Faith, Hope & Love
Loren: Will my love of dance movies be able to overshadow my incredible distaste for Jesus movies? Nope.
RDT: Now this! This is a Jesus movie! Pass.
Loren: I don’t deal well with real world violence and yet I can watch action and horror flicks all day. I’m probably out here but I do want to know the story behind the story.
RDT: I’m not sure what it is, but I’m just not feeling this.
Rick: Frankly, I’m surprised there hasn’t been some huge cease and desist thrown at this movie. Regardless, this might be much too real, even for me.
Jen: That’s pretty heavy and I’m fascinated that this is basically stolen footage from the military but I don’t know that I could sit through it.
Loren: Ryan and Jen made the LOST jokes I wanted to make so I’ll just say that this looks bad and move on.
RDT: I think someone should’ve never left that hatch.
Rick: What is this movie about? Designer babies? Disease cures? Dr. Moreau-style human-animal hybrids? You know what? Who the hell cares.
Jen: Aw Desmond, what has become of you? No thanks.
Ash is Purest White
Loren: Don’t cha just hate when you’re dancing at the club and your gun falls out on the floor? Other than that this looks kinda amazing. I might have to track it down.
RDT: I know it’s lazy to just say “What Jen said.” But that doesn’t make it inaccurate.
Rick: This is one of those movies I need to see in theaters or I may never get around to it. I’m weird like that.
Jen: I’m going to level with you, I probably won’t see this, but I want to. It looks gorgeous and I want to learn more about these characters.
Jimmy Carr: The Best of Ultimate Gold Greatest Hits
Loren: I love Jimmy Carr I’ve already thrown this on a couple of times. The man is the modern day king of the dirty one liner
RDT: I’ve heard of this guy but never seen any of his stuff. This just might be my first.
Rick: Comedy specials are almost always background entertainment for me. This one is no exception.
Jen: That is a fabulous trailer – and Jimmy Carr’s accent can make the dirtiest thing sound simply cheeky. I’m in.
Loren: I like everyone in this except for Affleck. I’m a little confused why it went “straight to Netflix”. That doesn’t bode well on most occasions.
RDT: Looks like a decent action flick with a decent cast. I’m sure I’ll watch it sooner than later.
Rick: It’s already in my queue.
Jen: I’m really not sure if this will be good or terrible. It’s a little too dour for me to really find out either. Someone let me know.
Arrested Development Season 5 Part 2
Loren: Unlike everyone below, I didn’t even finish season 4. I loved the original run but it lost a lot of its charm in the years off. Maybe now that it’s over I’ll binge through.
RDT: I watched season 4. Never made it to season 5 part 1. **shrugs**
Rick: I’m in the same “watched season 4, but not 5” camp. Not sure I’m into this enough to bother to go back and catch up. *shrug*
Jen: After Season 4 I never watched Season 5, Part 1, but if this is the end maybe I’ll go back and catch up for old times’ sake? I wish I felt more strongly.
Turn Up Charlie Season 1
Loren: This also reminded me that I need to catch up on Luther.
RDT: I don’t know that I’ve seen Idris do full on comedy before. I’ll throw this in the queue and probably check out at least an episode or two three months from now when I remember it exists.
Rick: I love me some Idris Elba, but this does nothing for me.
Jen: I didn’t laugh out loud at that, but c’mon who can say no to Idris Elba?
Love, Death & Robots
Loren: If you wanted to know what the inside of my brain looks like most of the time…*gestures wildly*
RDT: I’m down with some Fincher animated sci-fi.
Jen: So… Liquid Television then?
Queer Eye Season 3
Loren: I feel like I’m supposed to be watching this show, I’m just not.
RDT: I know this show is amazing, life-affirming, transformative. But I’ve never seen a single episode. And I’m not likely to start now.
Rick: For those who watch this, I’m glad it’s back. I just don’t dig reality TV anymore.
Loren: I’m glad Aidy is getting work beyond SNL. and this looks pretty good. Perhaps The Lady™ and I will catch a couple of episodes down the line.
RDT: I enjoy Aidy on the S&L. And it looks pretty good. Onto the queue or list or whatever Hulu calls it.
Rick: That got a lot of laughs out of me. Count me in.
Catastrophe Season 4
Loren: Speaking of The Lady™, she’s the only person I know that watches this… so enjoy!
RDT: This is a show I’ve been wanting to watch since the start. Haven’t gotten around to it yet. Hopefully by season 5….?
Rick: This one’s still going, eeh? Good for them.
Jen: This is one show I really do want to start at the beginning and watch even though I’m three seasons behind, it feels like it’d be worth it.
So that’s your upcoming weekend in review. Let us know what you saw, liked and/or hated.
As always, you can find us on Facebook at facebook.com/hollywoodpicturenews, Instagram at instagram.com/hollywoodpicturenews, or @HWPicNews on Twitter. And send in your questions/comments to firstname.lastname@example.org.
–Loren, RDT, Rick, and Jen