Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
Loren: I haven’t heard the best reviews of this but that trailer REALLY hooks me in. I’m pretty glad they figured out a way to do this without the minstrel crows from the original. I’ll check this out but probably down the road.
The Lady™: Old school Dumbo makes me cry. New school Tim Burton makes me feel disappointed and betrayed. Will I see this? Probably. Will it be totally gorgeous? Absolutely. Will I enjoy it? Unlikely.
Rick: Like the vast majority of these Disney live action/photorealistic remakes, I don’t know that we need this movie. I’m curious, but I’m betting I can probably do without it.
The Beach Bum
Loren: Harmony Korine is a weird dude. This looks… fine? Definitely not something I’m in any rush to see.
The Lady™: I can’t tell if this is something I’d be super annoyed at, or really enjoy.
Rick: I have to give Harmony Korine credit for constantly working outside convention. I don’t like everything he’s done, but I appreciate him as a filmmaker. I don’t know that I’ll run out and see this, but I’ll catch it eventually.
Through the Fire/Sauver ou Périr
Loren: Weird, this looks like a very American movie. In fact if they weren’t speaking French I’d have no idea that it wasn’t set in like St. Louis or something. On top of all that, if it was an American movie I probably wouldn’t get around to seeing it, so I can’t imagine I’m going to search this one out.
The Lady™: It looks beautiful, and soul crushing. I do not have the capacity to cry that much in one sitting.
Rick: Listen. Trailer people. You need to stop showing me every goddamn dramatic beat in the movie. If you give me everything in two minutes I’m not going to give you two hours (or my money).
Loren: Holy shit, no.
The Lady™: Can we toss this film into a river?
Rick: Haaa…whaaa…I…You know what? No. Just no.
The Field Guide to Evil
Loren: Holy shit, yes!
The Lady™: It’s the Reader’s Digest of global horror stories! I mean that in a super complimentary way!
Rick: The ABCs of Death movies were, by and large, pretty solid anthologies. I like that this one is strictly folklore, and there’s a good swath of talent on board. Sign me up.
Loren: Allow me to present TV Movie the TV Movie! Why are they even bothering with a theatrical release for this?
The Lady™: How could such a good story idea look so positively dreadful?
Rick: Man, it’s unfortunate how generic this whole thing feels. I’m okay skipping it.
Loren: Oh fuuuuuuuck yooooouuuuuuu! Stop glorifying this lumbering pile of used diapers stuffed into a dirty jockstrap.
The Lady™: BARF. Noooooooooope.
Rick: I had enough of this fucking waste of skin while he was in the news cycle. You couldn’t pay me to watch a doc about him.
Slut in a Good Way
Loren: This looks kinda fun and I like what they are doing with the subtitles. I’m not entirely sold on the black and white though. In my head this could be a fun super vibrant and colorful movie but I don’t think that’ll hold it back.
The Lady™: I think I’d rather watch this as a series than a movie. I’d enjoy delving deeper into each hook up experience she has, and how it changes her mentality.
Rick: It feels like a 90s indie comedy and I’m kinda into it. I’ll keep an eye out for it.
Loren: I really like the device of using kids for the reenactments. It’s messed up but in a good way. Sadly this makes me remember that MLB is still kinda fucked and ruined in my eyes.
The Lady™: Apparently if you get child actors to play skeezy adults, I will watch a sports movie! Congrats, Screwball. That’s a new one.
Rick: This looks solid. Not sure I’ll ever get around to it, but if it’s as well done as Cocaine Cowboys it’ll be worth a watch.
Loren: I like a lot of the people involved here but I don’t think this one’s for me.
The Lady™: You had me at “Getting hand jobs in Trent Reznor’s kill room!”
Rick: Knowing couples who have had difficulty conceiving makes this a little hard to get behind. If it manages to find a balance between the comedy and real challenges it might be worth checking out, but I’ll wait for reviews.
Loren: You should all know that this is labeled as an Erotic Thriller. That is all.
The Lady™: I don’t need a film to tell me southern white guys are secret serial killers. I’ve just assumed that since childhood.
Loren: What if Steve Irwin was Indian Tony Jaa? Sure. Could be fun.
The Lady™: Wait, what?! You went from baby elephants to action hero. I’m confused, and intrigued, and will likely never see this for fear of watch an elephant get hurt.
Rick: I’m totally on board for kicking the hell out of ivory poachers.
Loren: I wish it looked a little more like a Baz Luhrmann or Michel Gondry film.
The Lady™: Meh? This looks more like a friend’s art project I have to sit through than a film I’d seek out.
Rick: Look, if you’re going to try and upend all the usual rom-com tropes you have my attention.
Loren: I sure am glad I had the upbringing I did, this life does not look like something I want. I also don’t really get that voyeuristic thing with it either. I don’t even really want to peak in on it.
The Lady™: I’m getting some major “Thirteen” vibes here, and I’m hoping it’s just as well written and raw. It could be the next great brutally honest coming of age story for the current generation.
Rick: Gonna be honest, the first thirty seconds or so I was totally out. Too herky-jerky and shrill, but as the story opened up it reeled me back in. I’ll keep it on my radar.
Loren: I don’t think it’s for me but it looks pretty great for what it is.
The Lady™: I like a lot of the actors, but I think I’d have to be in a very specific headspace in order to view it.
Rick: This has been getting strong buzz for a while. I’m glad it’s finally coming out. Definitely in.
Nate Bargatze: The Tennessee Kid
Loren: I’ve already put it on. Nate Bargatze is very funny with his low key everyman style.
The Lady™: I chuckled a few times, then promptly fell asleep. Maybe I shouldn’t only watch stand up comedy at 1am?
Rick: I know nothing of this comic, but that bit in the trailer is pretty funny. It’ll make some good laundry-folding entertainment.
On My Block Season 2
Loren: I remember this show coming out a couple years ago but didn’t realize it was as serious as this trailer is making out to be. I doubt I’m jumping in here but it doesn’t look as cheesy as I remember feeling the first season did.
The Lady™: What is this show about and why the hell did I just watch three minutes of slow footage about dead kids?!
Rick: There was a season 1?
Loren: Man the Live Action remake of Osmosis Jones is super different. Seriously though, I love seeing sci-fi from other cultures getting brought to the forefront. I’ll keep this in the back of my head for when I’m craving something like it.
The Lady™: Creepy!! I’m kinda super into this.
Rick: Cripes. I thought online dating was challenging enough as it is. I am in need of some decent sci-fi, so I may check this out.
Santa Clarita Diet Season 3
Loren: Look I love Timmothy Olyphant but, holy shit this is still a show!?
The Lady™: I gave up three episodes into Season 1.
Rick: Yeah. I’m with Loren. And I still think this show should have been about cannibalism, because why the hell do we need another goddamn zombie show?!
Loren: Yes please. I want to watch this right now.
The Lady™: Daaaaaaaamn. That’s a hell of a cast!! I’ve always been intrigued by the romanticism surrounding Bonnie and Clyde. Wondering if this will portray them more as crazed killers than crazed lovers?
Rick: I would say shut up and take my money, but Netflix already has it.
The Legend of Cocaine Island
Loren: Meh. I don’t care about any of this.
The Lady™: I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I just don’t care about drug running movies. There’s something so formulaic about it to me. They’ll always be super successful in the being, do something weirdly arrogant that exposes the whole thing, and get taken down.
Rick: What’s the over-under this’ll be made into a feature in the next two years? Also, I think I’m in for this.
Barry Season 2
Loren: We shockingly didn’t finish Season 1 and I plan on fixing that before this even drops. I purposefully haven’t watched the season 2 trailer to avoid any spoilers. I’ve loved what I’ve seen from this world so far and am excited to continue on in it.
The Lady™: I have a sneaking suspicion that my Saturday afternoon will be spent devouring the remaining episodes from Season 1 we missed.
Veep The Final Season
Loren: I’ve only watched a handful of episodes of this show (and less of the show it’s based on from the UK, The Thick Of It) but what I have seen is very funny. It’s on the extremely crowded list.
The Lady™: I might binge the whole series someday. But for now I’ll remain blissfully unaware of what I’m missing.
Rick: Eeeh. Political shows, even comedies, are not my bag.
Loren: I’m kinda super in for this. This might be the Amazon show that gets me to remember that there are Amazon shows to watch!
The Lady™: YUP.
Rick: I really enjoyed this movie, but I don’t know that it needs to be a series. If the reviews are good I may check it out, but otherwise I’m good.
So that’s your upcoming weekend in review. Let us know what you saw, liked and/or hated.
As always, you can find us on Facebook at facebook.com/hollywoodpicturenews, Instagram at instagram.com/hollywoodpicturenews, or @HWPicNews on Twitter. And send in your questions/comments to firstname.lastname@example.org.
–Loren, The Lady™, and Rick