Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
Loren: I was sure that was going to look terrible and it didn’t. Now I have to rethink my whole life.
RDT: This looks pretty cute enough. Getting decent reviews, too. If it ends up on a streaming service I actually subscribe to, I’ll give it a watch.
Rick: Honestly, I was ready to write this off as some kind of Smallfoot clone (which I’m not sure anyone wants), but this actually looks good. If nothing else, I want to see that chase sequence on a big screen. The detail and physics look fantastic.
AJ: I had seen so many posters around town but somehow I’d missed the trailer til now…. That looks pretty cute, actually. I bet it’s gorgeous on a big screen. I’m pleasantly surprised and in.
The Lake Vampire
Loren: I thought I’d be more into that but I was kinda bored by the trailer.
RDT: I will only watch this movie from Rick’s kitchen.
Rick: Apparently this is based on a real life serial killer who drank the blood of his victims, and you can bet your sweet bippy I am here for it.
AJ: You can bet your sweet bippy I’ll ask Rick how it was after he sees it….
The Day Shall Come
Loren: This seems like one of those “right mood” comedies. Hopefully someday I’m in that mood, I’d like to want to see this.
RDT: I have no idea what to make of this movie. But good for these people!
Rick: This looks wonderfully bizarre. Not quite on the level of Sorry To Bother You, but still worth checking out.
AJ: Ok, well, first of all, I am a huge Anna Kendrick fan but who cast her in that part? Moving on, I see all the critic comments in the trailer and I guess it’s got promise but I don’t know if I’m in the mood for this comedy right now.
The Golden Glove
Loren: I don’t foresee myself seeing this. Tis the horror season, but I’m not really feeling this.
RDT: That’s a hard pass for me, too.
Rick: Man, that took a hard left real fast. Faith Akin’s In the Fade is an incredible piece of filmmaking (and got one of the biggest snubs of the 2017 Academy Awards), so I’m super on board with whatever the hell is going on here.
AJ: It’s based on a grotesque true story I’m familiar with from the news and I still didn’t see that coming on in the trailer… Talk about yer plot twists. I’ll have to pass but it looks like a destined critical darling.
Loren: This kinda feels like two different flicks to me. A period road tale and a conwoman getting one over story. That doesn’t mean that they can’t work together. Maybe?
RDT: I get a bit of a Coen Bros. vibe from this. Can’t really say if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, though.
Rick: This is such a weird thing to focus on, but I wish the photography had more texture. It just looks too clean to me. Aesthetics aside, I’m half-heartedly into this. It looks stylish and funny enough, but it’s not really doing anything for me.
AJ: I tend to enjoy things that mock organized religion or religious businesses. (Anyone watching “The Righteous Gemstones” on HBO?) I may try to catch this.
The Curse of Buckout Road
Loren: Man those creature fx look terrible. Fitting for this movie I suppose.
RDT: Well doesn’t that just look like a garbage movie!
Rick: I’d say that Danny Glover must have a boat payment, but there’s no way he got paid enough on this turkey for that. Maybe a Tesla payment. Or they shot down the street from his summer home and figured, what the hell? I can walk to work.
AJ: Danny Glover has made a lot of weird choices in these last few years…. Well, here’s another one. Good for him for still working? I guess?
Loren: That poor old man did nothing to warrant getting his head crushed. Are we supposed to be rooting for this cheating pair?
RDT: Bad, movie! You a bad movie, movie! Go to your corner and think about what you’ve done!
Rick: Ooof. That looks bad, and not even the “have a beer and laugh at it” bad. Just plain unwatchable.
AJ: Oh dear lord…. It’s like a Fabio romance novel cover of movies.
Loren: What if The Beach was a horror movie? Super meh.
RDT: More like “Pray” as in I “pray” I don’t ever have to watch this movie.
Rick: So it’s Band of the Hand (1986) with some kind of generic supernatural monster? Meh.
AJ: I don’t usually watch films in this genre but even I know that’s been done before.
Loren: I don’t really vibe with Biopics, so I’ll probably end up missing this one. Sorry I’m such a downer this week. I’m trying not to be.
RDT: I can’t believe that’s Renée Zellweger. Good movie or not, that’s looking like one hell of a performance.
Rick: God, I hope this is good. Even if it isn’t, I’ll just rewatch A Star is Born and have my heart broken all over again and love every second of it.
AJ: Yes, yes, yes. I think this is going to be great. People always seem to underestimate Zellweger and she knows that and doesn’t care. Been reading all her press from this and have really come to enjoy her.
10 Minutes Gone
Loren: It’s amazing how dated trailer vo sounds. Otherwise this looks like some pretty standard “On Demand” fare.
RDT: Word is Bruce Willis will show up for $1,000,000/day. Script, director, studio, co-stars, none of it matters. What I don’t get is how people that make a movie this shitty can afford to pay him and still make a movie this shitty. Also, if I had that kind of “fuck you” money, I’d splurge and pay Bruce Willis to hang out with me for a day. Wait….. there’s a movie there….. like a less racist remake of The Toy. Billionaire tech mogul pays aging action star to hang out with him for a weekend. Hijinks ensue.
Rick: How many boats does Bruce Willis own, anyway?
AJ: I would like to point out that in the official synopsis for this film, Willis and Chiklis are described as “action legends.” 🤔But hear me out, we totally need a campy action ensemble flick with Bruce Willis, Nicolas Cage, Danny Glover… It will be called Boat Payment. (P.S. RDT, I would totally see that movie.)
Loren: Woof, not for me.
Rick: I actively winced the moment that trailer started. No. Thank. You.
AJ: No. Just….. No.
Jeff Dunham: Beside Himself
Loren: Oh fuck no.
RDT: Guys, it’s ok. It’s the puppets that are racist, not Jeff Dunham.
Rick: Places I will not be: anywhere near Jeff Dunham.
AJ: I am sorry to say that I used to really like Jeff Dunham. Used to.
Loren: Is it weird that this is the type of doc I’m most likely to watch?
RDT: I gotta watch, like, 30 documentaries about people first.
Rick: Is this important? Yes. Will I watch it. Absolutely not.
AJ: I prefer Goodfeathers.
In the Shadow of the Moon
Loren: I got a sort of poor man’s 12 Monkeys vibe from that. Also I’m with Rick below, why would you give away the time travel(?) element in that trailer? I think I can just skip it and be fine.
RDT: Netflix has some decent sci-fi. Not this, mind you, but some other stuff. Mother wasn’t half bad.
Rick: You know what would be great? Saving what is probably a huge realization for the actual movie and not give it away in the freaking trailer. FFS. I don’t even want to watch this now. Fine work, whomever thought that was a good idea. You just lost what would have been a guaranteed viewer.
AJ: Well…. I guess that was a trailer.
Loren: I don’t need to watch a series that sort of lampoons the horrific political theater of our daily lives.
RDT: Can’t I just watch Election again instead?
Rick: I think I’d be into this if it were a feature, but no way I’m sitting through ten or twelve episodes.
AJ: Anyone wanna chip in to send Ryan Murphy on a vacation? Dude needs a break. And I need a break from his stuff.
Transparent: Musicale Finale
Loren: Never watched the series, can’t start here.
RDT: What he said.
Rick: Shows I never bothered to watch. Definitely not going to start now.
AJ: I really loved the first season of “Transparent.” And then I was over it. It’s hard to overlook the fact that this entire finale plot was contrived because they couldn’t have Tambor back and why go to a musical? I think it looks kind of terrible. (P.S. I don’t mind a good Jew joke, being one myself, but the ones I saw in the trailer weren’t funny.)
So that’s your upcoming weekend in review. Let us know what you saw, liked and/or hated.
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–Loren, RDT, Rick, and AJ