Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
Loren: I’m super curious about this and we are 100% through the uncanny valley at this point but I’m not hearing great things and can totally wait until streaming for this one.
Rick: The original script for this was uncommonly good. It deserves a quality adaptation, especially after how long it took to get produced. I had high hopes for this, but early word is that it’s kind of dismal. Makes me sad. At least we still have this awesome reel for Joe Carnahan’s unrealized version starring Clint Eastwood.
Jen: For some reason I thought this was for Netflix. Huh. I’m a Gemini Woman and even I don’t have strong feelings on seeing this movie.
AJ: Will Smith kinda needs a hit, doesn’t he? This doesn’t seem to be it, though. It looks pretty atrocious.
Loren: I want this to look better. I laughed at the Frogenstein’s Monster joke but that’s kinda it. With the talent involved here this should be amazing and it’s just kinda meh.
Rick: This looks sillier than I would have hoped, but the voice cast is great and I appreciate that the character design harkens back Charles Addams’ original art. Not in theaters, but definitely from my couch.
Jen: Cute. I may or may not ever see it, but I don’t feel dumber for having seen the trailer so that’s a plus.
AJ: Yeah, with Rick on this — I’ll catch this from my couch. I think it looks silly. But cute.
Loren: Yes please. Without even watching the rest of the trailers I’m pretty sure this wins the week.
Jen: This looks great and the trailer pulled me right in, I can’t wait to check this one out.
AJ: Um, dare I say, that looks outstanding? You can’t ignore the over-the-top amazing reviews this film is getting.
High Strung Free Dance
Loren: I am a total sucker for a good dance movie. This doesn’t look “good” per se, but I’m sure I’ll see it at some point down the road.
Rick: Guys. Guys. That title…That title is terrible. And, while this is not even close to breaking any new ground, it at least looks well produced. There are plenty of other dance-based movies I need to watch before I get around to this one.
Jen: That looks terribl…y awesome! A bottle of wine, a bowl of popcorn, a face masque and I are totally down for this.
AJ: OMG! Is this a sequel to 2016’s “High Strung?” (I didn’t even know 2016’s “High Strung” existed until about six minutes ago.) Horrendous title aside, this is bound to be something I watch on cable at 11:30 on a Sunday night when I can’t sleep because I love-love-love dance movies. It’s like the joy I feel when I find “Center Stage” whilst flipping channels.
Loren: Well that could be a fun little slasher for the season. Certainly not in the theaters but at some point for sure.
Rick: I have a soft spot for both Drive Angry and My Bloody Valentine 3D. And Patrick Lussier knows the genre well enough to give me faith that this will be a few steps above the average modern slasher.
Jen: A Halloween movie in October, this looks like it’ll rack up some $$. Good for Omar Epps.
AJ: Seems like good, Halloween-time, genre movie fare. Not my bag, but enjoy that one, Rick.
The Sky Is Pink
Loren: I’ll play the role of RDT here and say that I’m never going to see this movie.
Rick: I felt like the blinking guy meme the whole time I was watching that trailer. True story or not, this thing is all over the place. I’m good.
Jen: Um, interesting? Sick/dying kids are not my jam so I’m going to give this one a wide berth.
AJ: I think it’s kinda cool that Priyanka Chopra Jonas could be making much more mainstream projects right now if she wanted to but she chose something more personal that may not have found an audience in the U.S. without her name on the bill. That said…. the trailer is kind of a failure for me and I’m not really interested.
The Dead Center
Loren: Whoa. Yeah I’m in for that and whatever the hell is happening.
Rick: A few months ago I blind ordered a copy of this from the UK solely based on the pedigree of Shane Carruth (Primer, Upstream Color). It should be here next week. I don’t think I wasted my cash.
Jen: That is mega-creepy. I am out, but this deserves the eyes of a less chicken crowd for sure.
AJ: Well if the previous trailer was a total fail, this one was a total success as it scared me right out of my pants.
Loren: I want to like Tim Heidecker more but mostly I just find him annoying. Like I HATED Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job but I found him delightful in Us. Shrug.
Rick: I like Tim Heidecker more often than not, but this whole prank-style mockumentary genre turns me off.
Jen: This one doesn’t get my vote.
AJ: I had to do some googling to understand what I was watching here. It looks kind of terrible.
Loren: That looks like a perfectly serviceable teen horror movie.
Rick: Oh, look! Someone remade the Thai horror movie Shutter. Again. FFS.
Jen: I get it, it’s Halloween, YOU get a horror movie, and YOU get a horror movie and…
AJ: This premise has existed before, right? I’m not a horror-genre fan but even I remember Pacey from “Dawson’s Creek” being in a movie like this….
Loren: Might be a little too violent for my delicate sensibilities but if it plays up the silliness I could see this being pretty fun.
Jen: Crazy Crispin Glover = Benicio Del Toro in No Country For Old Men + Nicholas Cage (just Nicholas Cage no particular character)
AJ: I think it’s worth reminding people that Roger Avary, who wrote and directed this movie, wrote Pulp Fiction with Tarantino – he seldom gets credit for that. I am here for that and for crazy Crispin Glover. 1000%.
Loren: To be fair, I haven’t seen the possession movie trope set on a small sail boat yet. So there’s that.
Rick: I mean, it’s cliche city up in there (we’re still doing the “flashlight stops working/light a match” jump scare?), but I like the setting and some of the setpieces look decent. It’s probably terrible, but maybe? *insert Gary Oldman boat payment joke here*
Jen: And YOU get a horror movie!
AJ: This movie gets cred by having Gary Oldman and Emily Mortimer in it, I’ll give it that.
Loren: How did that Collegehumor bit become a feature? That doesn’t make any sense.
Rick: We’re still trying to make Adam Devine happen, huh? Also, that password joke was only ever funny once, and that was in Spaceballs back in 1987.
Jen: Aw, I like Adam Devine. He’s so huggable. But I like him best as foil to Rebel Wilson (they are both better together) on his own and we get… this.
AJ: I know I am echo’ing Rick a lot this week but yeah, the Adam Devine thing is lost on me. He’s got a helluva PR team behind him on this, though; I’ve seen him doing a ton of press for this. Not sure that will be enough to earn it a decent box office, though. It looks like a mess.
Loren: Holy fuck that looks terrible. I stand by my statement that Uncork’d has never made a movie that looks good. Now read what Rick has to say because he is correct.
Rick: There’s really no excuse for movies to look this cheap anymore. Off the shelf post production tools are more powerful than ever, and one of the best ones for color timing (DaVinci Resolve) is freaking free. Also, Jeffrey Combs deserves better than this riff on Merlin’s House of Mystical Wonders.
Jen: Guys, what are we even doing here? My 12-year-old nephew’s 2-week cable access summer camp made better films than this.
AJ: That tiny wooden rabbi doll is going to haunt my dreams. But I think the “movie” I made for my eighth grade music history project had better production values than this does. Hard, hard pass.
100 Acres of Hell
Loren: First, how is it a “Bro’s Weekend” if you bring along girls? Second and more importantly, if these assholes are going to go hunting in a wildlife preserve they get everything coming to them. Team Bow Wielding Murderer.
Rick: Have you seen a “killer in the woods” slasher movie before? Then you’ve already seen this. Not that you can’t make a movie in that subgenre, but derivative is derivative. They even steal parts of the look of their killer from Madman (his face) and Don’t Go in the Woods (costume), which are admittedly lesser known 80s slasher flicks, but still. Try harder. At least try to be better than Hatchet.
Jen: AND YOU get a horror movie!
AJ: Uh, cool story, bros…. The production company is named for a strain of weed. As if that’s not enough, they asked people to “join the fight” to finish the film with an Indiegogo that raised about $16K. That tells me all I need to know about this movie. Huge, huge, hard pass. With my snobby nose in the air, too. Sorry.
Deon Cole: Cole Hearted
Loren: I’m super hit or miss on Deon Cole but I’m running out of Stand Up to watch.
Rick: Like pretty much all stand-up I watch these days, this will be good laundry folding entertainment.
Jen: That Arby’s joke gets me. I’ll give this a watch.
AJ: Eh. Maybe.
Rhythm + Flow
Loren: I’ll check it out but no promises of keeping up with it.
Rick: This show will definitely find its audience, but I will not be in it.
Jen: This doesn’t look bad – if you’re into singing competitions this seems like a decent one and the judges are a charismatic bunch so I’m sure there will be lots of viewers for this.
AJ: Netflix is coming for you, “American Idol” and “The Voice.” I’m curious how a reality competition show plays out on a streaming platform. I may have to check this out.
El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie
Loren: *reads everyone else’s response first* Psst, me neither.
Rick: I’m on the fence. I’m not sure this needs to exist. I love the open-ended nature of Jesse’s departure from Breaking Bad. It was kind of perfect. On the other hand, I had similar reservations about Better Call Saul when that was announced, but that turned into one of the best dramas in recent memory (and I’ll forever be salty Michael McKean didn’t win an Emmy for his work on it). Add in the fact that Vince Gilligan wrote and directed, I think my curiosity will get the better of me.
Jen: (whispers) I’ve never seen Breaking Bad. Please don’t tell the rest of the internet.
AJ: (whispers) Me too, Jen. It’s totally in my Netflix queue….. Someday.
Loren: Tropey for sure, but this is low key one of my big fears. Having everyone think you are crazy when you for sure aren’t.
Rick: So, Flight Plan, but in a hospital? Sure? Maybe? I’ll probably forget about this unless it gets decent word of mouth.
Jen: This doesn’t look bad, just not exciting enough to make me keep an eye out for it.
AJ: We’ve seen this movie a million times. I’ll wait for someone to tell me I have to see this version.
Insatiable Season 2
Rick: I can’t get a read on Netflix’s mentality anymore. Arguably good shows get the short shrift and critically lambasted, pretty much universally reviled shows like this get renewed. I just don’t get it.
Jen: What? This show came back? Weird. No thanks.
AJ: I didn’t even know this show existed. Oops?
Torn Apart: Separated At The Border
Loren: We live in the darkest timeline. I hate it.
Rick: I can’t. My heart and my brain won’t make it through this doc. It’s too depressing/enraging that we have goddamn internment camps. Again. The devolution of this country is disgusting.
Jen: Looks like I, too, get a horror movie. I don’t know if my heart can take more of this.
AJ: Every week we’re looking at new movies and documentaries about this. Every week. And every week I applaud their bravery and courage and I know they are stories that need to be told. And maybe it’s indicative of how broken I am, but I just don’t feel like they’re making a dent in anyone’s consciousness and I don’t know how we make a change in a country so fractured as ours. In short, it all depresses the fuck out of me.
So that’s your upcoming weekend in review. Let us know what you saw, liked and/or hated.
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–Loren, Rick, Jen, and AJ