Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
Loren: Yeah no. Underwater Aliens is still just a bad version of underwater Aliens. Also, I thought we were done with TJ Miller.
RDT: Well, it sure is January at the theaters. I think I’ll just watch The Abyss again.
Rick: And the laziest title of the year award goes to…Also, lazy concept and it loses further points for casting T.J. Miller. I love me some underwater horror, but I’d rather rewatch Leviathan or Deep Star Six.
Jen: Ugh, I want to like this, like Rick, I love me some underwater horror, but this just feels like everything that came before it and TJ Miller playing himself is more of a turn off that I thought it might be.
AJ: So TJ Miller is still getting work, eh? Way to send the right message, Hollywood. 🙄 (I mean, at least take him off the billing, guys.) I otherwise find the cast kind of interesting here. You’ve got a lot of cerebral types in an action flick. I love John Gallagher Jr. and I was reborn a Kristen Stewrt fan because she was the shining star in that horrid Charlie’s Angels reboot. But at the end of the day, it looks scary and I am a pansy.
Like A Boss
Loren: I want better for Rose Byrne. Especially if she has to work with the female Kevin Hart.
RDT: I like Rose Byrne. That’s it. Nothing else.
Jen: I feel like we’re close to something here. Trying for a Girls Trip/Bridesmaids vibe but just a swing and a miss. Better luck next time Rose Byrne.
AJ: This looks so horrible. Just horrible. Please do not spend your hard-earned income on this. Go see some bad-ass indie flick directed by an up and coming female filmmaker. That’s my advice. Go watch The Farewell if you haven’t seen it yet. It’s cheap to rent on Amazon Prime.
Loren: That seems like too many Christs but what do I know.
RDT: I don’t understand how a movie with this cast that looks this good is basically dumped in January. It this just a really good trailer???
Rick: Here are my monies. Also, I’ll take large quantities of whatever Richard Gere is using to maintain his handsomeness.
Jen: Wow, that looks fantastic. Why is this coming out in January and not December, what am I missing?
AJ: Holy shit, what is this cast?! I am so in for this. And why am I only hearing about this January 10 release now (writing this on January 8)?!
Loren: I kinda want to see this. Maybe someday it’ll make an appearance at The Whitsett Theater. Not for a Horrorfest or anything but maybe a day when we drink whiskey and watch weird movies.
RDT: That’s gonna be a “naw” for me, dog.
Rick: I mean, there have been stranger ways to summon the antichrist in movies. Classical violin seems oddly appropriate, honestly. Call it a maybe.
Jen: The question is, what happens if I purchase and listen to the score? Hmmmm.
AJ: Points for an original concept here but spooky AF. Pass from me.
The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson
Loren: Holy shit. What fresh hell is this. I’m going to pass this so hard it’s going to get caught in the endzone for a touchdown.
RDT: I worked on American Pie 2 and once had to drive Mena Suvari to set. She was a goddamned delight. Bubbly, personable, down-to-earth. We were stuck in a car together for, I dunno, two hours and I consider it a highlight of my time working in the industry. So, it makes me sad that she’s doing garbage like this. Can’t we get her sitcom or something?
Rick: I…I don’t even know where to start with this one…Hard pass.
AJ: This is infuriating to me. It’s so exploitative…. Hard pass as well.
Loren: I don’t think I can take Mickey serious as a tough guy. I think I’m out.
RDT: I have no opinions about this movie. Cool accents…?
Rick: So many good actors. So many cliches. Pass.
Jen: I think I’ve seen this before, right?
AJ: If I am giving points for original concepts, I guess I also gotta detract points for unoriginal ones. Like this amalgam of British crime cliches. Oof.
Loren: Do we finally have a decent modern exorcism movie? Also is there a hidden theme to this week?
RDT: Oh, I am very happy I read everyone’s comments first, especially AJ’s. I’m not even gonna watch the trailer.
Rick: I’m hoping that the whole exorcism thing is only a fraction of the story. Otherwise the only positive thing I see are some solid-looking creature effects.
Jen: Just as I thought, Polaroid cameras ARE evil!
AJ: They managed to scare the b’jeezus outta me with the trailer, at least. It will not be getting my monies.
Loren: I would like to see the screener of this that Rick is talking about.
RDT: Sorry, Bong Joon Ho, I’m not quite ready to cross the barrier yet. Maybe someday…..
Rick: I’m in for this, especially since I have a screener sitting on my coffee table.
Jen: This looks pretty good. I can’t see myself getting to the theater for it though.
AJ: I am actually surprised someone is only now updating Les Mis and am very curious about it.
Loren: Sometimes I wish that I smoked weed so I could truly enjoy movies like this. I still may but I feel like it would be missing something.
RDT: I don’t understand comedy anymore.
Rick: This feels like it’s a series of shorts that escaped from Adult Swim and merged themselves into a feature. Also, this is just The Kentucky Fried Movie. A distant maybe.
Jen: I caught Thomas Lennon and Kerri Kenney in there, is this State-related? This looks weird but like something I could see checking out on a weird late-night with friends if I was still in my 20s.
AJ: It doesn’t look like something I want to sit through, to just be frank, but I was almost persuaded differently when I saw it has 100% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Loren: I was going to say that this feels very similar to Last Chance U and then boom directed by the same person. I don’t know that I’ll watch this but if you are at all into Cheerleading this is probably worth the time.
RDT: I will likely just watch Bring It On again (but not Bring It On Again).
Rick: If this were a feature I would watch it. I’m not interested enough to devote my eyeballs to an entire series of this.
Jen: This looks cool, but, like Rick, I can’t see watching a whole series. Maybe I’ll give it a trial episode.
AJ: How many episodes is it? I could probably be into this as long as we’re not talking more than six episodes.
Loren: I never got into Children’s Hospital but this kinda does it for me. If nothing else that last gag got an actual laugh out of me.
RDT: If I thought the trailer was too long that likely does not bode well for my thoughts on the series.
Rick: I enjoyed Children’s Hospital, but this feels like it’s trying too hard. Also, isn’t this just NTSF: SD: SUV with a bigger budget? I think I’m out.
Jen: That logo is brilliant. I wouldn’t be surprised if they thought of that before they thought of the show. Solid, funny cast – I’ll give it an episode or two but not going to commit.
AJ: That trailer just annoyed me. Please don’t make me sit through that series.
Loren: I’m into it. I think if I’m looking for something kind of hard boiled this may be where I go to scratch that itch.
RDT: Still on this side of the barrier. Sorry.
Rick: My brain says: “you should watch this. It’s totally in your wheelhouse.” But it also says: “how many series do you have in your queue that you still haven’t watched?” My brain is right. This will go in my queue and probably never get watched. Sigh…
Jen: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I am 100% going to watch this. Yeah, I’m surprised too.
AJ: I am being tortured by the words of Bong Joon Ho now, “‘Once you overcome the one-inch tall barrier of subtitles, you will be introduced to so many more amazing films.” But this just isn’t in my wheelhouse. I have to pass.
AJ and the Queen
Loren: I think I got most of that from the trailer. And to echo what Rick is saying… yes go read his now… I think if this was a movie I’d be more into it.
RDT: Looks cute.
Rick: So, The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, but with a kid? Maybe if it were a movie, but there’s no way there’s enough story here for a series.
Jen: That looks sweet and fun and worth some eyeball time when I have it.
AJ: 1000% in. Yes. And not just because someone I went to film school with a writer on it. I am a ginormous RuPaul fan. And they clearly named the show after me….
Loren: Well damn. Ok HBO I see you.
RDT: I’m just waiting for John Oliver to come back so I can subscribe to HBO again. And this is #2 on the list.
Rick: I might have to break down and subscribe to HBO for this. Richard Price and Dennis Lehane adapting a highly regarded Stephen King mystery is too much to pass up.
Jen: Yep, yep, yep – this looks right up my alley.
AJ: This feels just a little Broadchurchy, right? But come on, how GOOD is Ben Mendelsohn??? This cast is strong. I think I have to be in here.
The New Pope
Loren: I was right there IS a theme this week!
RDT: Jesus, how many popes do we actually need?
Rick: Same as the old Pope. No thanks.
Jen: Ah so this is season 2 to Young Pope and not an additional new Pope show. Either way, I’m not going to watch it.
AJ: I loved The Two Popes on Netflix. And that’s about as much Pope as I can take.
So that’s your upcoming weekend in review. Let us know what you saw, liked and/or hated.
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–Loren, RDT, Rick, Jen, and AJ