Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
The Call of the Wild
Loren: Man, this looks pretty terrible. I remember reading this as a young kid but I tend to get it mixed up with “Stone Fox” which absolutely wrecked me. Let’s hope they never make that into a movie.
RDT: I tried to find the behind the scenes clip where you see the dude in the mocap suit pretending to be the dog, but I didn’t have any luck. I also didn’t look very hard because, ultimately, I don’t care about this movie.
Rick: I saw the trailer for this in front of Little Women back in December. I had to stifle laughter when the dog showed up. That is godawful CGI. Not quite bottom of the barrell, but no kid on earth is going to think that’s a real dog. Ever. There are more realistic looking dogs in the Toy Story movies. This looks terrible on every front. I hope Ford got paid new plane money for this.
AJ: So is this a kids movie? I guess so. I’m not sure how to feel about this. In the end, the animated dog is just throwing me. I wish they could have made this work with a real dog. Or maybe a combination of real and animated. But kudos to Ford for having that grumpy old man market cornered.
Loren: I kinda love Anya Taylor Joy. This looks pretty good for a genre that I’m not usually a fan of.
RDT: I was not nearly as impressed with this trailer as my cohorts below. As such, I will likely never see this movie. Sorry (not sorry).
Rick: Jane Austen has never been in my wheelhouse, but that is one of the best trailers I’ve seen in ages. Bravo, whomever cut that together. Your work has won me over.
AJ: I’ve never been a Jane Austen person, per se, but I have to tell you, that single moment at the end of the trailer where she flicks the carriage’s window open with her finger? That kills me. I could be persuaded to see this.
Brahams: The Boy II
Loren: I honestly don’t even remember The Boy, so I was a little confused at the sequel of it all. That said at first I was like, “Ok, there’s some decent creepiness to this” but then that last shot with the bees(?) made me laugh out loud. Sorry Brahams, I just don’t care.
RDT: Didn’t want to see the first one. So, I didn’t see it. Can you guess how I feel about seeing the second one?
Rick: Movies that didn’t need sequels: The Boy. But, despite how predictably terrible it was, it made decent box office. And these things are made for couch cushion money, so unless it gets numbers like The Rhythm Section, this one will turn a tidy profit too. Shit like this makes me a sad horror fan. People should be paying to see Come to Daddy instead.
AJ: How many times do we have to endure this “moves into a spooky house” premise? (Not that I ever endure it – I do not see such movies.) I mean, I’ve not heard of the first Boy movie so I’m a little lost here but it’s just not for me. I defer to Rick as the expert in this space.
Viral: Antisemitism In Four Mutations
Loren: I hate it here. And that guy is right, it’s only going to get worse before it gets better.
RDT: Sometimes, a lot of times, I don’t understand people. Like, I don’t understand hate. What do you gain from it? It’s such wasted energy.
Rick: I had to stop watching the trailer. It made me too angry-sad. The world seems like it’s just a cesspool of hate. I just…
AJ: As far as I’m concerned, this is the true horror movie.
Loren: There looks like there might be some stuff that I don’t really dig in that. (Eye trauma, torture porn, etc.) But damn if that doesn’t look pretty terrifying. I’ll wait for the Rick seal of approval before taking the time.
RDT: Based on primarily AJ’s reaction, and how well I know myself, I’m going to skip this one.
Rick: Kind of like 2014’s Creep but not even a little bit subtle. I could be down for this if I’m in the right mood. Not in theaters, though.
AJ: Wow. Seriously scary trailer – well done, filmmakers. It has 100% on Rotten Tomatoes right now. I guess it’s promising…. *hides under several blankets*
Loren: I kinda remember this story from when it happened. I might have to follow up on it when this hits some kind of streaming platform.
RDT: Wasn’t there a movie in the 80’s with James Garner about a guy stealing a tank and doing…. stuff with it? Feels like that.
Rick: I realize this is a documentary, but this is Killdozer mixed with Fighting Mad. If I were a betting man, I’d say this guy isn’t just some average working class joe who got pushed a bit too far. He’s probably a loon that just did a good job of hiding it. I’m a little more compelled to read an article about this story than watch the doc, though.
AJ: Getting a smidge of Abducted in Plain Sight vibes from this — a “not everything is what it seems” feel. Despite it being a documentary, though, it just doesn’t feel original enough to be compelling. Maybe I’ll check it out if the buzz builds. But I’m in no rush.
The Night Clerk
Loren: I’m not sold on this one. I feel like it could be an interesting mystery but it’s kinda lacking something. And I’m also with AJ bellow on Sheridan’s character.
RDT: I like a good mystery. Not sure this is that and, to AJ’s point, I really don’t get what Tye Sheridan is doing. Helen Hunt is usually pretty good though.
Rick: So, it’s Bad Times at the El Royale mixed with a little bit of The Lookout? I don’t know. Unless this has some amazing turn I feel like I can do without it.
AJ: Hmph. I’m trying to find a way to say this…. Is Tye Sheridan’s character on the Spectrum? Or is he just a strange person? I’m not sure I’d want to tow that line these days. It’s rubbing me the wrong way and I’m simultaneously sad for Helen Hunt, a multi-award winner, who can only get roles like this now. WTF?
Standing Up, Falling Down
Loren: I’m into it, but I’m into most things that Jean Ralphio does.
RDT: Looks fairly pedantic, but I do enjoy Ben Schwartz a lot. So, yeah, I’ll keep it on the radar. Maybe I’ll do a double-feature with Sonic when they’re both streaming.
Rick: This has a ton of predictable beats, but goddamn if I don’t enjoy the dynamic between Billy Crystal and Ben Schwartz. Not in theaters, but very likely from my couch.
AJ: I’m a Ben Schwartz fan. He has this small role in This is Where I Leave You that sold me on his chops. This does look like your standard midlife-crisis-esque touching comedy but I’m in.
Loren: Having known nothing about Jean Seberg I’m into this. This looks like a solid turn from everyone involved.
RDT: Twilight and other shitty movie choices aside, I have enjoyed K.Stew’s acting in the past. And I am intrigued by Jean Seberg, knowing pretty much nothing about her. But I might just read the wiki instead.
Rick: I’m a little ashamed of myself as a film nerd. I only know Jean Seberg through her movies. Until now I knew nothing of her politics or the smear campaign conducted by the FBI. Amazon, here’s more of my money.
AJ: Will this be on Amazon? Then yes, I will watch. Easy choice. Hate that they titled this Seberg, though. I’m still a little skeptical on Stewart but I did enjoy her in that horrid Charlie’s Angels reboot (I maintain she was the only good thing about that movie).
Loren: I like that New York independent feel that this gives off but I don’t know that I’m into watching this story play out.
RDT: I feel like I’ve seen this before…..and don’t really want to see it again.
Rick: I’ve got a dollar that says them getting together was, ahem, premature and they’ve broken up by the end of the story.
AJ: Looks a little like a younger skew of The Photograph. Which I didn’t love so I’ll skip this.
Just One More Kiss
Loren: I feel like there is an interesting story in there but that looks horrendous.
RDT: Holy shit. That looks terrible.
Rick: If I had one more chance I wouldn’t have spent those two and a half minutes watching that trailer.
AJ: Hey whomever uploaded that to YouTube, ads a synopsis, would you? Your trailer stinks and it needs all the help it can get. (To be fair, I don’t know that any trailer would persuade me to see this movie.)
Impractical Jokers: The Movie
Loren: I haven’t wanted to watch these guys in 22 minute installments. What makes them think that 90+ will be better?
RDT: It’s like Jackass but, ummm, not funny…..?
Rick: I just threw up in my mouth a little.
I Am Fear
Loren: And I am not into that at all. But at least they got Solid Snake from Metal Gear for the beginning.
Rick: Just going to say this: Shout Factory picked this up for distribution in 2017.
AJ: That’s been sitting on the shelf for a while. Me thinks they should have left it there.
Home Sweet Home
Loren: Man they sure do make a lot of faith based movies. I guess someone watches them. Or maybe God is buying all the tickets.
AJ: Rick, how dare you (and Bryan Cranston) take thy lord’s name in vain. Did this sanctimonious movie premise teach you NOTHING?!
Loren: I was hoping for more from this but it falls short and I will most likely forget about it.
RDT: If Goldie doesn’t end up as mayor, I just don’t care.
Rick: It’s driving me nuts, but this movie reminds me of something I’ve seen and I can’t place it. Regardless, it isn’t setting my world on fire. Call it a maybe.
AJ: So definitely not a remake of 1931’s Goldie with Spencer Tracy and Jean Harlow? But it looks rather compelling and timely to me and I think I would give this a watch.
Loren: How are you going to make a movie with David Chokachi and Yancy Butler and make me not want to watch it? That was like 1997 Loren’s bread and butter.
RDT: It seems like a lot of shitty movies get made. Do people see them? Do they ever make money? Do I care?
Rick: Run away. Run far away.
AJ: I know with a lot of films, especially indie films, the big cost-saving measure is to make a trailer without the v.o. narration but going through a ton of them up til this flick is starting to grate on me. But anyway, I’ll be running away with Rick if anyone needs me.
The Expanding Universe of Ashley Garcia
Loren: This is some serious Disney Channel Nickelodeon stuff that I am not the audience for.
RDT: If I were 14 maybe, but even then, probably not.
Rick: I am not the audience for that show. I’m not even sure it’ll connect with the tween-ish audience it’s aimed at.
AJ: If i were under 16, I might be more into this, I guess? Also, did they use the house set from “Two and a Half Men” for this? That living room looks familiar.
The Last Thing He Wanted
Loren: I like Anne Hathaway but very much dislike Ben Affleck. I will probably pass.
RDT: I heard this was kind of a mess. I like the cast but maybe not quite enough to get over that mess.
Rick: Reviews out of Sundance have not been entirely kind, but Dee Rees (Mudbound) is a strong director, and I like this cast. I’m willing to give it the benefit of the doubt.
AJ: Sure, it looks…. Fine? Yeah, that’ll go into my watchlist next to the Ryan Reynold Netflix movie I keep meaning to watch.
Loren: I would most likely watch this if it were a movie but a full series is probably asking too much of my time.
RDT: Looks cute enough but I have way too much other tv to watch.
Rick: I’m with Loren. I’d give it a shot if it were a movie. It does look good, though. Hopefully it does well enough in Netflix’s mystery metric to not get cancelled quickly.
AJ: I thought the title was a typo – that took me a second. I wish they explained it with a well placed joke in the trailer. They almost did it… This feels like it would have been a great indie film. I’m not sold on it as a series. Was that Wilmer Valderrama they kept flashing at us? He’s not even listed in the credits on IMDb.
Loren: I’m totally into this from the creative team to the fact that this is what I wanted a Magneto movie to be. It’s ONLY downside is that I totally forget Prime exists when looking for TV to watch.
RDT: I’m here for this. (That means excited, right?)
Rick: It’s already in my watchlist.
AJ: That cast is crazy good, right? Yes, just added to my watchlist. Let’s go catch some bad guys.
Star Wars: The Clone Wars Season 7
Loren: I started to rewatch some of the more “important” arcs from the first six seasons (via this Reddit thread) to get ready for this. This was one of those shows that kinda sucked at the start but once they got the ball rolling it was excellent. This gave you a feel for the time period so much more than the prequels ever could. If you have any interest at all in the world of Star Wars I would suggest this series as a whole.
RDT: Never watched seasons 1-6 but glad the fans are getting more.
Rick: I tried watching this show and I just couldn’t get past the animation style. It’s so boxy and off-putting to me. Even if they’d just gone with smoother line work on the characters faces I’d have been okay with the rest of it. But, as it stands, I’m never going to get through this series.
AJ: I’ve never been able to get into the Star Wars animated material. I’m just a live-action purist, I guess?
So that’s your upcoming weekend in review. Let us know what you saw, liked and/or hated.
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–Loren, RDT, Rick, and AJ