So it’s been a while since I’ve done one of these but then two trailers dropped on the same day that felt worthy of a “Let’s Talk About…” feature. The other being The Lego Movie 2 but I think I’m going to wait until we get the full trailer before sinking my teeth in on that one. So we’re left with Bumblebee.

Bumblebee is the first and last spinoff from the Michael Bay Transformers franchise. Maybe. Early word is that the Transformers franchise is going to be rebooted soon due mainly to The Last Knight failing pretty miserably. The studio was already pot committed when it came to the Bumblebee movie so we’re getting it wether we want to or not. And the sad thing is, this doesn’t look awful.

Set in the 80’s, it has more of the classic G1 Transformer look than any of the Bay-formers movies have had in the past. Coupled with a cast that doesn’t have a single Shia LaBeouf or Mark Wahlberg anywhere to be seen and this could be the Transformers movie we’ve been waiting for. Too bad it took us this long to get here. Starring Hailee Steinfeld (True Grit, Pitch Perfect 2 & 3) as Charlie and John Cena (The Marine, Ferdinand, every modern Wrestlemania) as Agent Burns. The story follows Bumblebee, on the run from Burns, hiding out in a small California town. Here he meets Charlie and adventures happen. Plus you get the addition of Martin Short(‘s voice) and Pamela Adlon to the cast, along with what I can only assume are tons of easter eggs and cameos. It is a little strange that this whole adventure happens but the government supposedly didn’t know about Transformers existence in the first movie from 2007. But then you remember that The Last Knight threw all of that away and had Bumblebee taking out Nazis in WWII so who knows. 

Anyway, enough of that, Let’s Talk About The First Bumblebee Teaser Trailer…

• First off we get a trailer for a trailer which is my new least favorite thing that’s ever happened. #firstworldproblems
• Next there’s a heavily backlit shot of a smaller framed Bee than we’re used to.                      
• A few shots set the scene for us as Charlie rides here bike by the beach.
• We hear a solemn voiceover by Bobby Bolivia (Bernie Mac) who sold Bumblebee to Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeof) in the original.
• The voiceover reminds the audience that a person doesn’t choose their car, the car choose them. Especially when they are a sentient shape-shifting war robot seeking refuge from a planet of sentient shape-shifting war robots.
• Charlie uncovers a beat up looking Yellow VW Bug which is what the original design of Bumblebee was modeled after. None of this Camaro bullshit. 
• We’re spoon fed that this is Bee by having a literal bee hive growing in one of his wheel wells.   
• Charlie now owns Bumblebee. Like, there’s a whole master/slave thing here that is very uncomfortable. It’s probably worse in Star Wars where they actually call their owners Master and do all their work for them. Here at least once the people figure out that their car is a sentient shape-shifting war robot they tend to let it live its robo-life on its own.
• Anyway Charlie drives her new property home and pulls into her garage.
• Her incredibly spacious two car garage is filled with tools and a different half built car that is most likely not a sentient shape-shifting war robot. 
• Bumblebee goes a different route than the other sentient VW Bug that we all know and love, Herbie, by using the radio to get Charlie’s attention. 
• Bee is literally falling apart. Literally. Because Charlie is handy she gets underneath and finds a hand. 
• Then a face.     
• The one thing I will give this is, this is so much closer to how the Transformers toys used to work. In the new movies I just assumed their faces got redistributed into the swirling mess that was the transformation. But this shows us that Bumblebee has been staring at the ground while driving for years.
• Seeing Charlie causes Bee to transform for some reason. Though when he does he looks so much more like his original form. Well kinda, but moreso than his 2007 version that’s for sure.  
• He also looks much smaller than the Camaro version. I’m sure that’s to make him closer to Hailee Steinfeld’s size but it’s still strange since he’s like 5 feet shorter.
• Instead of running away screaming because your car just turned into a sentient shape-shifting war robot, it’s Bumblebee that backs off scared. Charlie wants to know who he is.  
• Bumblebee still has his speaking affliction which we see the origin of in The Last Knight.
• Charlie shows that she’s not going to hurt him by touching his face. Bee reacts like a cat and brushes his face against her hands.  
• She wants to know what his name is, even though she knows he can’t talk. Rude.
• Montage section.
• Bumble runs through the woods as someone shoots at him. 
• Charlie and a friend stand through Bee’s sunroof as he drives, potentially terrifying all of the other motorists around them.   
• Ok, is Charlie in love with Bumblebee? She dives into the ocean to save him, knowing full well that he WEIGHS AS MUCH IF NOT MORE THAN A STANDARD CAR, and then gets to him and has a weird Shape of Water moment with him.     
• Bumblebee is like a 10 year old boy about this crush though. He kicks sand in Charlie’s face and jealously carries her away from another boy.  
• We get the only shot of Cena’s Agent Burns, who looks more military than secret agent. I guess he may be in more of the trailer and we just can’t see him. HAHAHAHAHA!    
• Bumblebee has a superhero landing that’s just murder on the knees. 
• There’s a great shot of Starscream that looks soooo much like his original G1 Transformers version that it almost sells this movie to me on it alone. 
• Miscellaneous action starts to happen as Bumblebee drives next to a train and reaches out to grab it. Not sure about the physics behind this one, but they’ve set up that this is possible in previous Transformers movies.
• Charlie hugs Bumblebee. But like, it’s more than that. They are definitely in love. I wonder if there’s going to be an awkward almost kiss like in Alien vs. Predator.   
• Bumblebee suits up for battle and catches a helicopter. 
• Title Card
• Charlie is apparently the one that gave Bee the idea that he can speak through music. The first attempt she makes with this though is with a Rick Roll. Bumblebee doesn’t find it funny at all. He shoots the tape back at her and almost kills her. Ah young love. 

OK, so it doesn’t look amazing but hey it looks better than most of the films that came before it. I’ll probably check this one out and might even do so in the theater. What a time to be alive.

Bumblebee hits theaters everywhere this Christmas.

From Hollywood,
-Loren