It’s me, RDT! I want to welcome you to our newest column, Do That, Hollywood! Every week or two(ish), I’ll take a look at something I think “Hollywood” fucked up and suggest how I would fix it. Consider it part op-ed, part casting exercise, and part Monday morning quarterbacking (that’s a thing, right? Sports!) for the entertainment industry. This week, we kick off with the cinematic X-universe.
Welcome to the Weekend Watch: Holiday Edition. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage) over this, hopefully long, holiday weekend.
Movies
Allied
Loren: I have this feeling that this is going to be bad but the trailers/tv spots look really good. I’m super torn, which means I’ll probably skip it in the theater and might catch it streaming.
RDT: I like Brad Pitt and Marion Cotillard, but I literally have no desire to see this. Not one bit.
Rick: I’m iffy on this one. I would bet cash money that there’s a movie from the 1940s that has the exact same plot and did it better. Unless reviews are good I’m okay skipping this one.
Jen: Didn’t Cillian Murphy make this movie a few months ago? With a weird-o sci-fi name? Was that a different Nazi spy-hunter movie? Arachnothoid? Artropod? I skipped that one and probably won’t see this one either.
Moana
Loren: Disney has done a pretty incredible job making their computer animation division (or just regular animation division now I guess) on par with Pixar. Well, at least with some of Pixar’s weaker efforts.
RDT: I don’t know that I’ll run out and see this. But I do enjoy me some Dwayne TR Johnson. And the rest of the cast/filmmakers are pretty talented. So I’m sure I’ll see it eventually.
Rick: This may give Kubo and the Two Strings a run for its money as the best animated movie of 2016 (seriously, Kubo is uniformly excellent). I’m in for this.
Jen: Lin-Manuel Miranda? The Rock? Tiki? Disney? I think I dreamed this movie up myself. SO IN!
Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
Movies
Arrival
Loren: Well that looks intense and amazing. Nice, big budget, hard sci-fi, which we’ve been getting more of lately and I’m totally ok with that. I’m in.
RDT: I am so in for this. Definitely seeing it this weekend.
Rick: *tries to conceal sci-fi boner*
Jen: Now this is my kind of alien invasion (or is it?) flick! Also, nerdy Jeremy Renner is kinda hot. In!
Elle
Loren: A modern day revenge movie that doesn’t appear to be super over the top violent. I could definitely get into that. It’s also interesting that RDT and I were just talking about Verhoeven on the podcast last week. (Which of course you already knew).
RDT: This is not the “Hollywood” Verhoeven I’m familiar with. I’m intrigued enough to add it to the list, once it hits streaming.
Rick: Paul Verhoeven is known mostly for his Hollywood films (Robocop, Basic Instinct, Starship Troopers, etc.), but he had a strong career in his native country beforehand. This resembles his earlier work, particularly The 4th Man, and I’m stupid excited about it.
Jen: This is an interesting and morally ambiguous-looking trailer. Huppert is amazing and has the capacity to play incredibly strong, and often depraved, women. This may be the perfect role for her. I get the feeling that my feminist sensibilities will be thoroughly offended within the first 10 minutes of this film. Yet, in art, I’m not sure that’s necessarily a bad thing. Did I just equate Verhoeven with art? Hmmm, it’s been a long week…
Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
Movies
Inferno
Loren: Meh, I’m sure I’ll be lost having not seen Angels and Demons. I like Hanks, but more in a comedy role, I might just re-watch the “Black Jeopardy” sketch from last week’s SNL instead.
RDT: I didn’t love The DaVinci Code, and I don’t remember Angels & Demons. Similar to what Loren said, I do wish Hanks would get back to comedy. (Though I’m more “David Pumpkins” than “Black Jeopardy.”) So, yeah. I’m good here.
Rick: I can’t help but wish that this starred Nicholas Cage and was a National Treasure movie. At least Hanks’ hair has been tamed from previous installments.
Jen: Dear Inferno, why can’t you be more like Tom Hanks’ hair? Shorter, less ridiculous, and more pleasant to look at than in The DaVinci Code? Love, Jen
Ae Dil Hai Mushkil
Loren: Who am I supposed to root for in this? I think I’m good.
RDT: I, also, am good.
Rick: I don’t know how something can feel generic and not at the same time. I’m glad that more Indian films are getting released here, but I’m not sure I’ll seek this one out.
Jen: So I watched the subtitled and non-subtitled versions of this and I’m not really interested in either version. They sure do have some attractive-people problems, I’ll give ‘em that.
Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
Movies
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back
Loren: I did one of my patented Trailer Breakdowns for this one back in June and I was kinda middling on the trailer. The first one was fine enough but I think I’m waiting until streaming/Redbox for this one.
RDT: I’m with Loren on this. The first one is enjoyable enough, though I did have severe tonal issues with it. So I don’t feel the need run right out to see it.
Rick: I enjoyed the first one quite a bit and, let’s face it, any movie that markets itself with a tongue-in-cheek video game is hard not to endorse: http://www.jackreachermovie.com/NeverStopPunching/
Never stop punching, guys. Or running.
Jen: When I saw that I’d have to watch this trailer I rolled my eyes. But… but… I kinda want to see this. I can’t really say why, maybe it’s all the punching? It just looks over-the-top, ridiculous fun. I did not think I’d be writing any of this about a Jack Reacher movie. Go fig.
Ouija: Origin of Evil
Loren: How the hell does a prequel to the awful looking Ouija movie from a few years ago look so good? Maybe it’s the 60’s setting, maybe it’s that it takes all the possession/ghost house clichés and blends them together, I don’t know, but this looks pretty damn good. (Hey Rick, might have a candidate for next years Horror marathon)
RDT: As I’ve said before, I watch horror movies once a year (from Rick’s kitchen, through my fingers, skipping ahead on Wikipedia.). So, if this is either really good or REALLY bad, that’s how I’ll see it. Otherwise, I’m out.
Rick: Honestly, I was expecting to throw snark at this trailer like I did at its 2014 predecessor, but this actually looks okay. Normally I would balk at a prequel, but this series might actually be better going backwards than conjuring up yet another generic sequel. I’ll give this a go.
Jen: I went to a haunted Hayride event recently and being a scardy-cat I opted to skip the maze based on this movie. While I waited for my peeps they ran this trailer without sound, on a loop outside so I watched it maybe 6-7 times in a row. It took me at least 5 viewings to figure out it was a NEW movie rather than a 70s horror classic I’d just missed out on. I mean that as a compliment.