Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
Loren: Sadly I’m not hearing great things about this one. I was kind of hoping for a little bit more of a serious take on Hellboy but that’s also not what we got. I’ll wait to see it down the road I think.
Rick: While I was quietly hoping Guillermo del Toro would get another shot at this character, I’m looking forward to this reboot. I’ll see this in theaters for sure.
Jen: I LOVE the Hellboy movies with Ron Perlman and David Harbour looks like a worthy successor. Rick, let me know when you’re getting tickets.
AJ: I’ve never seen a Hellboy movie but I’m told by many who know me that I would enjoy this franchise and it’s not like I ever miss a comic book movie.
Loren: Kubo was good enough to get me to see this one. It’ll probably be at home but it’s still on the list.
Rick: Before watching the trailer, the only thing I’d seen from this movie was the poster, which was incredibly uninspiring. Can we get away from the out of context character against a white background, please? It makes me not want to see your movie. Anyway…I’ve never been disappointed with a Laika production. Definitely in.
Jen: This looks cute and I would take my daughter to this – I think we’d both find laughs.
AJ: I’m not gonna lie. I would totally see this. It looks adorable. And ya know, Hugh Jackman. Even animated.
Loren: This looks straight up awful. This is a trope that’s been done to death so you have to really come with something special if you are going to stand out. This did not do that.
Rick: Backwards Big? No thanks. I’m all set.
Jen: Is this set in the Big universe? Is this some sort of MCU type thing? Can we look forward to a “Medium” in our future?
AJ: No, no, no. I watch a lot of my TV on Hulu and they have been playing this trailer in heavy rotation. I am so over it. No.
Loren: What was that? Is this movie a thriller? Is it a story of love lost? Is it a revenge movie? What are you movie?… Bad? Oh. Ok.
Rick: Oh good. This is finally coming out. Hopefully I’ll stop seeing ads for it. Even when I was the appropriate age I don’t think I was the audience for this movie.
Jen: So this is based on One Direction fan fiction. Seriously. Pass.
AJ: Did I just watch a spin off of “50 Shades of Gray?” I feel too old for this movie. It’s not a good feeling.
Rick: Thanks, trailer. You took me on that entire movie’s journey in two minutes. Also, I’d rather rewatch Momoru Hosada’s Wolf Children, which deals with similar themes with a lot more charm, heart, artistry, and none of the tropes.
Jen: I… don’t have high hopes for this being a good film.
AJ: Uh…. What? I love an indie film but just….. Who came up with this? Pass.
Tough Guy: The Bob Probert Story
Loren: This guy just seems like a real asshole. I think I don’t need any more of his story than I’ve already seen.
Rick: Were I more of a hockey fan I’d be in for this.
Jen: I love a good doc, this trailer doesn’t make this look like anything more than standard fare, but I’m willing to give it the benefit of the doubt.
AJ: Setting aside that this guy was a Redwing and Blackhawk…. I’m totally in because Probert was one half of the famous “Bruise Brothers.” I love hockey and documentaries.
The Most Dangerous Year
Loren: I always wonder if these people that are against trans people using the bathroom have gendered bathrooms in their homes.
Rick: I…I just don’t understand why we can’t just let people be who they are. If it’s not hurting anyone, why does it matter?
Jen: And yet another reason to just have gender-free bathrooms in the first place. I’m all for a gender-free bathroom. Also, human dignity. I’m all for dignity as well.
AJ: Well, I’m into causes. This film profiles transgender children who, in 2016, found themselves facing new proposed legislation that would limit their freedoms. I’m gonna get on a soapbox and say people need to see this. This is important.
Loren: I’m with Rick below, originally I wanted to pair Vox Lux with A Star Is Born, but I think that this is a much better fit for a double feature. Plus add the musical talent involved and this seems like a no brainer.
Rick: Looks like a good companion piece to Vox Lux, which about six people saw, myself included. Not something I’ll catch in theaters, but it’ll get a watch from my couch.
Jen: Wait, Vox Lux came and went already? I could definitely do a double feature of those two when this one joins it on streaming – good call, Rick.
AJ: I love that someone did an edgier, indie film take on something that would have otherwise been a popcorn, tween flick in different hands. Also, I know it’s Bleecker, but it looks very A24, which is a pro for me.
Mia and the White Lion
Loren: In the right mood I love a good sappy save the animals type flick. I’m not sure if this will live up to that though. I’ll probably just forget this exists.
Rick: Again, another trailer that gives you the whole movie. This is why I go on media blackout for movies I want to see. Mind you, I don’t have any desire to see this, but my point still stands.
Jen: The music in that trailer was the auditory equivalent of an eye roll for me. No thanks.
AJ: Typically I won’t say no to a cute animal flick and I happen to enjoy Mélanie Laurent but this looks a little too family friendly for me. Eh.
Master Z: Ip Man Legacy
Loren: Uh, yes please. That contact juggling/martial arts shit with the whiskey was dope as hell. I’ve slept on the Ip Man movies (all of which are on Netflix right now) but maybe that needs to change. Super in.
Rick: For those not keeping track, this is a spin-off of the well regarded Ip Man series of films starring Donnie Yen (which is getting its fourth installment this year). I haven’t seen much of Jin Zhang’s other work, but I’m in for Michelle Yeoh and fully on board for Tony Jaa being in all the things these days. Gimmie.
Jen: How do I follow what Rick wrote? That is a lot of intel and, clearly, I am one of those people who was not keeping track. This looks pretty good, but I’m saving my subtitle reading for a few entries down this list.
AJ: Is it terrible that I am ruling this out purely because I have no patience for captions right now?
Loren: Nah. I’m good.
Rick: I just can’t bring myself to be interested in this movie.
Jen: Jesus Christ Superstar was the first and last biopic of the New Testament I’ve seen. I’m fine with keeping up that streak.
AJ: Great cast but also, someone made a biopic about Mary Magdalene? Not appealing to me.
Long Day’s Journey Into Night
Loren: I got a weird Chinese True Detective vibe from that. It does seem like this is something that needs to be seen in 3D on the big screen, which sadly is not my prefered way to watch stories like this. I’ll probably never get around to it.
Rick: Yes, yes, yes. Though I wish they’d stuck with the actual Chinese title: The Last Night on Earth.
Jen: I was skeptical going in to this, but the trailer won me over, I think I may even seek this one out in the theater.
AJ: Sigh. More captions. I just can’t. Also, I was a little disappointed this wasn’t some cool Chinese take on the 1956 Eugene O’Neill play, Long Day’s Journey into Night.
Loren: I don’t know why but I find it very hard to seperate the art from the artist when it comes to Moss. Other than that this looks fine. Nothing to write home about.
Rick: It’s almost unfair how talented Elisabeth Moss is. And where the hell has Eric Stoltz been hiding? I’m in, but I wish it had a different title. My brain keeps defaulting to Lynyrd Skynyrd’s song “That Smell”, making it hard to take the title seriously. There has to be something better.
Jen: I think having lived through the 90s this might be required viewing, and I have to agree with the others, Scientology really paid off for Elizabeth Moss. That’s what you guys are hinting at, right?
AJ: God, Elisabeth Moss makes great choices, doesn’t she? I see Courtney Love and Lita Ford and Joan Jett. I’d totally see this. (Rick, Eric Stoltz is on CBS’ “Madam Secretary” and he’s a G.D. delight.)
Loren: This looks like the worst episode of Crossing Jordan yet.
Rick: Welp, I’m glad Kurt Russell was able to make this month’s boat payment.
Jen: I look forward to finding this DVD in a bin at 7-11 when I’m picking up my scratchers.
AJ: I have no idea what this movie is about but check out Rory Gilmore all grown up!
A Dark Place
Loren: I feel bad that even when Andrew Scott is doing something different, I can’t see anything besides Moriarty.
Rick: Try as you might, A Dark Place, even with your derivative poster art, you’re never going to be Winter’s Bone.
Jen: I’m happy to just got watch some old Sherlock, thanks.
AJ: I need to have a conversation with whomever made this trailer (and whomever approved it). Yeesh. I’ll pass on this one.
Loren: Now I just want to get Stanley Tucci on The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.
Rick: The novel this is based on predates A Quiet Place by three years, and the character and underlying story similarities are a bit hard to ignore. So much so that if you search “The Silence Tim Lebbon”, it autofills “A Quiet Place”. Honestly, this sounds like a more interesting take. At least here we get to see how things play out when the monsters come calling, not the derivative aftermath.
Jen: Good looking cast. I am the one person in America who didn’t see A Quiet Place not sure if I care to see this as a compare and contrast or not.
AJ: Wait, I’m confused. Didn’t John Krasinski just make this movie?
You vs. Wild
Loren: This is a cool concept that I will get super annoyed with very quickly.
Rick: Battles I have no desire to fight.
Jen: I used to love Man v. Wild back in the day and Bear is a great host for this style. I’m not sure I’m interested in making the decisions, but I’d give it a try at least.
AJ: Cool idea. Not for me — not a genre I’m interested in — but I’ll be curious to see the press and reviews on it.
Loren: There is absolutely nothing new here. I have seen every piece of this story told a dozen times now.
Rick: So. Tired. Of. Zombies. Please. Try. Harder.
AJ: Off the cuff, looks like World War Z meets The Walking Dead. (And it’s rumored to be a prequel to WWZ anyway.) I don’t really like the zombie genre, though. Pass.
Huge in France
Loren: I hear this dude is kind of a joke stealing douche and wrote this to make himself feel better. I don’t think I’ll add this to the queue.
Rick: I got bored with this halfway through the trailer. Hard pass.
Jen: I have no strong feelings on this.
AJ: This reminds me just a little of Tickling Giants, which was a documentary about the Egyptian Jon Stewart. But anyway, it’s a series, it’s on Netflix – I’ll probably get to it eventually.
The Perfect Date
Loren: Just a modern update to the classic teen rom-com and you know what? That’s fine. This is fine.
Rick: Sorry, but who drives a fucking $150,000 i8 in high school?! Also, who just hands over the keys to a that same car to some dude in a sandwich shop?! I realize this is a by-the-numbers teen romantic comedy and I should suspend my disbelief, but seriously? Anyway, this teen-friendly riff on Risky Business is probably fine, but I’ll never see it.
Jen: Yep. I can pretend I’m not going to watch this, but why bother. I’m a 40-something full-time working mom and in my free time I watch Netflix rom-coms. Deal with it.
AJ: I mean, I liked Can’t Buy Me Love, 10 Things I Hate About You and even Drive Me Crazy so I clearly have a penchant for this genre. Am I too old to enjoy a high school romcom, though? We’ll see.
Game of Thrones Season 8
Loren: I really do love this show but I’m also glad it’s ending. The last season wasn’t nearly as good as it should have been and I’m terrified for this one. Also, if I’m being truly honest, I’m so tired of hearing people talk about this show. It’s time.
Rick: I tried. I really did. I just couldn’t get past all the politicking and the 700 characters. I felt like I needed a spreadsheet to keep track of everything. That’s work, not entertainment. Also, I can’t get behind a show that teases dragons in the first season then makes you wait for like six goddamn years before they show up again. Nope. Not okay.
AJ: All I can say is, I Gave up on GoT after Season One. So….. *shrugs*
So that’s your upcoming weekend in review. Let us know what you saw, liked and/or hated.
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–Loren, Rick, Jen, and AJ