Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
The 15:17 to Paris
Loren: This reminds me of that Navy Seals action movie they put out a few years ago Act of Valor, that starred real life servicemen. This at least has the benefit of the people that were actually involved. I don’t think I’ll see this in the theater but might once it hits streaming.
RDT: Pretty much what Jen said.
Rick: I read about this when it happened and, while it’s interesting and definitely heroic, there’s not enough nuance to this story that necessitates a feature.
Jen: I can’t say a bad thing about this movie since it stars real life heroes who did an amazing thing. It looks fine and it’s an interesting idea to use the real guys portraying themselves. All that being said, I won’t be seeing this.
Fifty Shades Freed
Loren: “Don’t Miss The Climax” is a gross tagline.
RDT: Can I just go to Pornhub instead?
Jen: So this is still happening? Fascinating. I want these movies to be 100x better or 10x worse. Pick a lane, Christian Grey.
Loren: At first I was thinking why did they shoot actual scenery for the CGI animals to exist in? Then I saw the real life element and my question was answered. Oh, am I going to see this? No. No I am not.
RDT: I remember loving the book as a kid. I’ve heard nothing but bad things about this though. Hard pass. (Maybe “hard” pass is more appropriate for Fifty Shades Freed?)
Rick: I didn’t think it was possible, but this looks as irritating as both Trolls and The Emoji Movie. The hardest of passes.
Jen: So Domhnall Gleeson is in everything now? Cool. Cool-cool-cool.
Loren: I like that Lena Hall actually seemed to be singing. That’s kinda the only positive I can think of.
RDT: One time, I got to drive Mena Suvari to the American Pie 2 set. She was nice. She climbed in my backseat and read an Entertainment Weekly.
Jen: This is a big Indie-meh for me. Can Indie-meh be a thing? It accurately describes my feeling to 90% of Indie movies.
Black Hollow Cage
Loren: Neat. If I remember to watch this I think I’m gonna dig it.
RDT: I’m out for pretty much the same reasons Rick is in, except the Ex Machina part.
Rick: Atmospherically, it reminds me a bit of Ex Machina. Also, it looks wonderfully sinister. Count me in.
Jen: I immediately thought Ex Machina but Rick beat me to the punch. I’m so curious about what’s going on here I think I’ll have to check it out.