Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
The Angry Birds Movie 2
Loren: Did the first one (that was well past its own sell by date) do well enough to warrant this?
RDT: It’s weird for me to say this about a movie in English (I assume) but….. yeah, I’m never going to watch this movie.
Rick: This…this is still a thing? Who’s clamoring for anything Angry Birds-related anymore?
Jen: Was the first one a hit? Is this the original cast? Isn’t anyone thinking about the pigs? So many questions!
AJ: Do people still play Angry Birds? I mean, I guess there’s an audience for this…..?
Josh: We did this to ourselves.
Loren: Look I’m not rushing out to the theater for this one but it was pretty funny. In the right mindframe I think this could be a lot of fun… from my couch.
RDT: I laughed. I did. I’ll keep an eye out for it streaming.
Rick: I enjoy the occasional raunchy comedy, but I’m kind of turned off by this.
Jen: Unlike Josh, there is no option here, I am too old for this.
AJ: I bet this was a fun one for the MPAA to work out…. I enjoy this whole idea. I admit it. I laughed my ass off with the trailer. I am also curious of America is going to show up to watch vulgar children drop f-bombs and anal beads on the big screen.
Josh: This movie looks like I’m either going to love it or come to the sad realization I am too old for this kind of humor.
47 Meters Down: Uncaged
Loren: Besides the father of them all Jaws (and Jaws III The Revenge for it’s sheer stupidity) I don’t really enjoy the killer shark movie.
RDT: Fun fact! This was originally called 48 Meters Down. That’s all I got.
Rick: Ahhh, Sharksploitation movies. I get a kick out of thee. The first movie was surprisingly decent, though I thought the ending was kind of a copout. I’ll watch this one just to see how gruesome these insufferable characters’ deaths are.
Jen: I can tell from the title this won’t be the best film ever made a number and a punctuation mark? Too much.
AJ: I won’t even watch Jaws. (Rick, I enjoy the word “Sharksploitation.”) (AJ, you should watch Jaws.)
Josh: Ok, so it’s like a psychological thriller about being trapped and running out of-oh no, it’s just a shark. Nah, I’m good. Already been done.
Blinded by the Light
Loren: Bend it Like Beckham is a lot of fun. Maybe this will be too, who’s to say?
RDT: When I saw the title, I assumed it was the Jesus movie of the week. Obviously, it’s not. What it is, is adorable. I’ll keep an eye out for it streaming.
Rick: I’m not quite as down on this as I am with Yesterday, but this still feels like it was made to help Springsteen sell more albums.
Jen: Cute. Not seeing it in the theater cute, but streaming while I clean the living room cute.
AJ: I tried for far too long to come up with a Springsteen lyric to put here but I got nothin’. But I do want to see this.
Josh: I feel like I should be way more into this movie, but it’s just not resonating. Probably because I’m racist.
Where’d You Go, Bernadette?
Loren: This is not a story that I need to know the answer to. I’m sure she’ll be fine.
RDT: I enjoy Blanchette and know nothing about the book. But the current 40% rating on Rotten Tomatoes doesn’t give me much hope…..
Rick: I love Cate Blanchette, but I kinda don’t care where Bernadette bugged off to. *shrug*
Jen: I’ve heard great things about the book that I haven’t read, will the reviews of the movie I haven’t seen live up?
AJ: I loved this book. I love Cate Blanchett. So putting that high school math I thought I’d never use to work, it adds up to me loving this movie, right?
Josh: Looks good. Hard not to love Cate Blanchett. I would still have willingly given her the ring.
Loren: Is this the new movie for The Living Seas at EPCOT?
RDT: Water’s cool, sure. But you know what’s cooler? Ice.
Rick: So, it’s basically water porn. I’m sure someone will go *sploosh* over this, but it is not me.
Jen: Is this footage available for license? Embargo? How quickly can you turnaround the master files? Sorry, those are the questions I’ll be asking from my office in the next few days.
AJ: I bet that’ll look cool in IMAX high def. Lemme know.
Josh: I have no interest in seeing this is theaters, but I bet it would be gorgeous to watch there.
Cold Case Hammarskjold
Loren: Now that’s my speed when it comes to true crime. Also it almost feels like a mockumentary which is sort of like full circle for stuff like this.
RDT: I’ll probably just watch The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo instead. The Fincher one. #dumbamerican
Rick: Unless there’s some major bombshell reveal half way through, this seems like a pretty cut and dry conspiracy. I’ll read the wiki.
Jen: I’ve been longing for a good old-fashioned 1960s conspiracy! This falls right in my wheelhouse.
AJ: Wow. I don’t think they taught us about this in a history class but that’s pretty interesting. Yeah, I’ll watch that.
Josh: This trailer is fascinating and I will absolutely watch this. I love that I’m not even sure what it is I’m going to watch. It’s it a genuine doc or something else?
Loren: First off I agree with Rick below. Secondly, so that’s what William Forsythe would look like if he drowned.
RDT: There was a show on NBC a few years ago called Awake. A dude would go to sleep then wake up in an alternate reality where is wife and kid were…..dead…..alive…..both? I don’t remember. It was ok. This looks ok too, I guess.
Rick: You might get me to watch this if it were a four episode BBC mini-series with a bigger budget/better cast, but as it stands it’s a hard pass.
Jen: How many movies would be wiped out of existence if amnesia weren’t a thing?
AJ: It just looks like an exaggerated Law & Order SVU episode — and I’d rather watch that.
Josh: The cast of this movie makes me think that this isn’t going to be good. Like if it was a great script, it would have had a better cast.
ZZ Top: That Little Old Band from Texas
Loren: Neat. If I’m looking for a little more info on ZZ Top maybe I’ll check this out.
RDT: So Back to the Future is all Huey Lewis. As is Back to the Future Part II. But III? III is these guys. That was a cool switch up. Look, I’m not the music guy here. So, there’s only so much I can say without constantly saying “I’m not the music guy. I’m never going to see this” with these movies. But…..
Rick: It’s hard not to enjoy ZZ Top. When this pops up on a streaming service I’ll give it a look.
Jen: I wonder if this movie’s…wait for it…got legs?
AJ: I have plans to see this with my mom! We saw them in concert a couple years ago and had a BLAST. They’re amazing. And super entertaining guys.
Josh: I’ve got a soft spot for ZZ Top. I’d check out this movie if I was flipping through the channels and nothing else was on.
The Divine Fury
Loren: Now that’s a take on the demonic possession trope. I can’t wait to see this on the docket for Horrorfest, or at least as a Horrorfest Reject.
RDT: I’d rather see The Divine Furry! It’s about people that cosplay as animals that cosplay as biblical figures. And do it.
Rick: This looks bananas. Sign me up.
Jen: I’m with AJ on this one.
AJ: Josh, Rick, you guys enjoy.
Josh: I’ll be honest, I’ve enough of Jesus and Christianity for this lifetime. Like it could not disappear off this planet fast enough for me. But I still think this trailer looks great and would check it out. Has a Constantine-ish vibe to it that I like.
End of the Century
Loren: With so much other stuff out there I can’t see myself getting to this one. And that’s ok.
RDT: I’m……never gonna see this movie.
Rick: This looks incredibly familiar but I cannot place what movie it reminds me of. This is one of those that, if I don’t make it out to theaters to see it, I’ll wind up forgetting about it entirely. It’ll probably be at The Nuart for a week then vanish.
Jen: I got more interested the longer that went on, color me intrigued.
AJ: Well, I got through the whole trailer so that’s pretty telling. But I’m not sure what it’s about…? It is getting loads of positive reviews, though, so I may have to push my disdain for subtitles aside. I’m curious.
Josh: This looks fine.
Loren: Boy I wonder if this ragtag team will get their asses to mars. (No I don’t).
RDT: See my last entry please.
Rick: The story looks compelling, but I think I’d rather read about it than watch this movie.
Jen: Well, looks like they made it to Mars. Good for them, and good for me since, now, I don’t have to watch the whole movie.
AJ: I am surprised and impressed — I did not know India had a space program? I’m about to head down an internet rabbit hole to read about this but I don’t have interest in the film.
Josh: The biggest problem with this movie is the idea that the US still has a space program, but I guess if you can get past that, it looks fun. (whomp whomp) You’re definitely getting the whole movie in this trailer, which is something of a pet peeve for me.
The Second Sun
Loren: This feels like it has a PBS Mysteries level of quality. Which is fine for Inspector Poirot but not so much when telling this particular story.
Rick: This movie looks like it’s trying to punch way above its weight. I’m all set.
Jen: I feel like I’m watching a film I made in college and not a real movie released in theaters.
AJ: Not every play should be adapted to film.
Josh: *deep sigh* Man…ok. Nope. Still don’t care.
Line Walker 2
Loren: I always enjoy the flashy over the topness of a HK Action flick, but there are so many better ones out there.
RDT: I’ve never seen Line Walker 1. Will I be able to follow it?
Rick: Generic Chinese Crime Thriller No. 4,253? No thanks.
Jen: Damn, I missed Generic Chinese Crime Thriller No. 4,252, so I think I’ll be lost.
AJ: I shall politely decline.
Josh: This looks like it might be an interesting thriller? Are we reviewing all movies that get released worldwide? I need to learn some new languages…
Tiffany Haddish Presents They Ready
Loren: Some of these women seem pretty funny but not like SUPER funny. Stand up is my thing but I think I might pass on this one.
RDT: I dunno, man. That was a pretty good Oprah. I’m not a fan of Haddish, but I might give it a watch for the other comics.
Rick: I do not care for Tiffany Haddish. She has basically zero range as a comedian. I’m not interested in anything she’s a part of.
Jen: I like comedy and lately I’ve been getting into a lot more female stand ups so I’ll give these ladies a whirl – I have the feeling one or two will resonate and the others I can just skip past.
AJ: I have a very low threshold for Haddish. I think she has about three tricks and I’ve seen them all over and over. So I guess I’m not that interested in a comedy show she curates.
Josh: I worked on this title and the comedy is decent. On a personal note, Aida Rodriguez is great. I knew her years ago when she was trying to make her own movies. One day she said she was going to do stand-up. We lost touch not long after that, but boom. Here she is in this show, killing it. So happy and proud to see her doing well.
Loren: Well that’s a bit all over the place isn’t it? Fun dancing! Prisoner beatings!
RDT: Well shit, the Step Up franchise sure did take an interesting turn.
Rick: I can’t top Loren’s sentiments.
Jen: Orange is the New Black’s final season looks different than I thought it would.
AJ: Is this the same prison that used to go viral all the time with the choreographed numbers? I mean, cool that they do something different but it’s still… prison.
Josh: This trailer can’t hide how depressing this movie is going to be.
Loren: Wasn’t this a scripted CBS show a few years ago?
Rick: I love a good medical mystery. My curiosity will get me to watch a couple of these.
Jen: I’ve seen the column in the Times, and this is a great idea. I don’t know that I’ll be tuning in but I hope it makes some connections for people.
AJ: I think it never hurts to remember the internet and social media can be used for profound good.
Josh: I know this is meant to be an uplifting show, but the cynic in me just sees getting medical advice via social media as incredibly problematic.
Mindhunter Season 2
Loren: I didn’t watch the first season and I don’t think that I was that hungry to do so.
RDT: I need to watch season 1. For reals.
Rick: I’ve been waiting patiently for this to come back. Super excited for this one.
Jen: I loved the first season and looking forward to #2.
AJ: I’ve heard good things but alas, still not enough hours in the day. Although I did watch a charming video of Jonathan Groff dancing this morning. Anyway, someday….
Josh: I watched the first season and ended it absolutely wanting to smack the shit out of the main character. He just really got on my nerves. I’m gonna give season 2 a go, but it’s going to be on a short leash.
Loren: Oh, uh, no thanks.
RDT: I have no words.
Rick: Oh, hell no.
Jen: Why is this happening?
AJ: That trailer is two minutes and 31 seconds too long.
Josh: Jen, because there is no God.
The Amazing Jonathan Documentary
Loren: I used to love his work but I honestly thought he had already died. This is a fascinating look into what is happening with him, with the added mystery of whether or not it’s actually real or not.
RDT: I loved The Amazing Johnathan when I was a kid. Had no idea there was this…..Andy Kaufman-like element to him. Yeah, I’m into this.
Rick: I always enjoyed his stand-up. I even went to a taping of the game show he hosted back in the early 90s (Ruckus, I think?). It was shot at a casino in Atlantic City and was ridiculous in all the best ways. I’ll give this a watch.
Jen: It seems like there’s more than meets the eye to this doc, appropriately for the Amazing Jonathan, I was never a big fan of his, but that won’t stop me from checking this out.
AJ: I’ve been looking forward to this. Can’t wait to see how it plays out.
Josh: I loved him as an entertainer and this looks absolutely fascinating. Count me in.
The Righteous Gemstones
Loren: I want to like this but I’m not sure I find anything funny about megachurch con men.
RDT: I am not a Danny McBride fan, even if he is making fun of religion, which I am also not a fan of.
Jen: Good cast and I chuckled at the trailer, but I don’t feel strongly like I’ll tune in.
AJ: This looks a little too real to be funny. Let’s put a pin in this for now.
Josh: What Loren said. This show would be a lot funnier if it wasn’t actually happening all the time in real life.
Jim Gaffigan Quality Time
Loren: I like Jim Gaffigan so if I happen to make it on to Amazon I’ll try and remember to watch this.
Rick: Jim Gaffigan is perfect laundry-folding comedy. I’ll add it to the queue.
Jen: I’ve enjoyed all of the other Jim Gaffigan specials, I see no reason I won’t enjoy this one as well.
AJ: Jim Gaffigan is all over like horseshit lately, no? I’m apparently in the minority here as I’m not a huge fan but I’m not anti-Gaff or anything. Maybe I’ll check it out sometime.
Josh: I too love Jim Gaffigan. I’m going to forget this exists for a while, but will probably catch it years from now.
So that’s your upcoming weekend in review. Let us know what you saw, liked and/or hated.
As always, you can find us on Facebook at facebook.com/hollywoodpicturenews, Instagram at instagram.com/hollywoodpicturenews, or @HWPicNews on Twitter. And send in your questions/comments to firstname.lastname@example.org.
–Loren, RDT, Rick, Jen, AJ, and Josh