Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
xXx: Return of Xander Cage
Loren: I used to LOVE movies like this and in the right mood I’m all about them. But this, this looks pretty awful. Outlook not so good.
RDT: I’m sure I’ll see it eventually. But I just can’t get excited for it the way I do for the Fast & Furious movies.
Rick: I’ve seen the previous two xXx movies and they’re…okay? I mean, they’re ridiculous, almost in a Transporter 2 kind of way, but not nearly as fun. My only real interest in seeing this stems from the fact that Donnie Yen and Tony Jaa are in it. Even if their fight scenes are edited within an inch of their lives (They probably are. We live in the age of 10 frame edits.), they’re always worth watching.
Jen: Wait, The Rock ISN’T in this movie? I’m out.
Loren: I’ve only seen The Sixth Sense. Why start watching his movies now?
RDT: So the twist is that he doesn’t have multiple personalities, he’s actually multiple people, right? I hear Shyamalan is getting better and the reviews are decent, but I still have no desire to see this movie.
Rick: Shyamalan has felt like a one trick pony for ages now. I haven’t watched one of his movies since I laughed my way through The Happening (For those who haven’t seen it, it is not a comedy). He’s had such a wonky track record that it’s hard to entrust my time and dollars to this guy. That said, I’m interested in this. Still hesitant, but interested.
Jen: The reviews on this are… GOOD! I can’t believe it. The premise is so… silly and Shyamalan is… Shyamalan. I can’t imagine a world in which I see this… but maybe I should be more open minded? I’ve got a lot of confused feelings here.
The Founder (Limited)
Loren: I really like Michael Keaton (and Nick Offerman) but this doesn’t really do anything for me. Maybe it’s because I can’t eat McDonalds without feeling like my insides are on fire.
RDT: I really want to see this, but the fact there has been little to no advertising (at least that I’ve seen) worries me. I thought this was supposed to be an awards contender…?
Rick: I’m eternally grateful that Michael Keaton is acting regularly again. Even if the movie he’s in isn’t stellar, he is always good. I have high hopes for this one. It’ll get my money.
Jen: Wait, is that Ron Swanson without a mustache? Keaton looks great in this trailer. I’ll give this a go, so long as I can eat french fries while doing so.
Staying Vertical (Limited)
Loren: Qu’est-ce qui se passe. C’est un loup.
RDT: I have no snarky comment about how I likely will not see this. I will say, based on Rick’s comment below, I would like to see a good werewolf movie. It’s been so long since we’ve had one.
Rick: I have no idea what this is about, but I’m secretly hoping it’s some kind of werewolf movie. Regardless, the trailer left me intrigued enough to seek it out.
Jen: I absolutely plan to ask Rick what this movie was about after he sees it.
The Sunshine Makers (Limited)
Loren: I wish I cared about this story. I don’t.
RDT: Drugs are bad. (But this might be good…)
Rick: I will not drink the brown acid, but I will see this movie.
Jen: How Reagan killed hippie culture. Sounds like this is in my wheelhouse.
The Red Turtle (Limited)
Loren: Admittedly I won’t see this in the theater but I am really interested in it. I look forward to streaming this, it looks absolutely gorgeous.
RDT: The reason Rick adds it to the his list is the very reason it comes off mine. Think about that…
Rick: My weekly email from one of the local theaters claims this film has no dialogue. That only served to make me more interested. *adds to list*
Jen: I might give this a go on streaming with my little one. Seems like something we could enjoy together.
Loren: The Lady™ and I are weirdo cat people. This might be the perfect date movie for us.
RDT: When I was in Montenegro, there was a lot of cat stuff. I have nothing else to contribute.
Rick: I don’t think the word “stray” means what you think it means, narrator guy. Also, a city overrun with cats sounds like Hell on Earth to me. I’m super okay skipping this one.
Jen: I am *so* allergic to cats, you guys. I’d need a box of Kleenex to get through this movie. But I look forward to the “Dogs of Ankara” sequel.
Loren: Yeah, for me this movie would be more interesting if the whole thing was done in the split screen from the moment the kid decides whether or not to kill Vampire Bill. One side with him doing it, one side where he didn’t.
RDT: I’m interested in this, but I cannot stand Emory Cohen. I just can’t separate him from my utter disdain of his character in Smash a few years ago. Also, I didn’t find him remotely believable as a “tough criminal” in that trailer.
Rick: The “unlikely criminal hires real criminal and things go south” subgenre has been around forever, so it’s tough to do anything new with it. But Tye Sheridan (Mud), Emory Cohen (Brooklyn, The OA), and Bel Powley (Diary of a Teenage Girl) are all strong performers. Plus, if this story is really being told in the fashion I think it is, it’ll definitely make it more engaging. I’ll give it a go.
Jen: Finally, the gritty re-boot of Sliding Doors we’ve all been begging for.
Trespass Against Us (Limited)
Loren: What is Michael F. Assbender’s natural accent? The world may never know.
RDT: Good cast and A24 will get me to see this…eventually.
Rick: Early reviews have not been stellar, but both Fassbender and Brendan Gleeson are reliably excellent in the worst of movies. I may track it down via on-demand or streaming down the line, but I’m in no rush.
Jen: Magneto and Mad-Eye Moody rob a mansion! That’s about all I’ve got to give on this one.
Alone in Berlin (Limited)
Loren: It’s Brendan Gleeson week! This feels a little too current for a WWII movie, what with all the fake news and all.
RDT: I’m all set with WWII movies for a while. Thanks!
Rick: There’s been a preponderance of WWII movies in the last couple of years. Not sure what the renewed interest is, but I can’t say I’m fully behind it. This looks incredibly dull in spite of its cast. I’ll probably never get around to this.
Jen: I’ll admit I tuned out about halfway through this trailer. I’m saving any WWII interest for Dunkirk.
Loren: I think I’d rather play Assassin’s Creed III again. They’re basically the same.
RDT: I have enough tv to watch. If you’re gonna make it on the list, you need to wow me. This trailer did not wow me.
Rick: When is Hollywood going to stop trying to make Jason Momoa a thing? All he does is play a minor variation of Khal Drogo in everything he shows up in. Pass.
Jen: What RDT said. This didn’t even inspire me enough to come up with my own sentence.
Voltron: The Legendary Defender – Season 2 (Netflix)
Loren: I haven’t finished Season 1 yet, but I’m excited that there are more episodes to watch now.
RDT: Didn’t watch season 1. So, I’ll let you do the math on season 2 making it into my queue.
Rick: I’ve had the first season in my queue since its debut last year. I have yet to watch it. Doesn’t mean I won’t, I just haven’t gotten around to it yet.
Jen: See my comments on Frontier.
Take the 10 (Netflix)
Loren: Woof, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen this movie already. *Looks down to Jen’s comments* Ah, yeah, that’s what it is.
RDT: Can I just watch Go again instead?
Rick: No. Not even a little.
Jen: This wants to be Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle. I know Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle. You, sir, are no Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle.
So that’s your upcoming weekend in review. Let us know what you saw, liked and/or hated.
–Loren, RDT, Rick, and Jen