Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
Loren: How is this a story that is not more well known? This looks fantastic but I’d be lying if I didn’t only see that racist guy as the “son” that sings TLC in We’re The Millers. At any rate, in.
RDT: I know nothing of this story. The pedigree of the talent involved will definitely keep it on my radar. Maybe not in theaters, but definitely sooner than later streaming.
Rick: You put Kathryn Bigelow’s name on a movie and I’m already sold.
Jen: This is a slice of history I didn’t know much about so I’m glad it’s being highlighted with some serious talent behind it. Not exactly a popcorn movie, but I’m happy to check it out at some point.
The Dark Tower
Loren: This is just Last Action Hero under a different name. I want this to be good but I don’t have high hopes. Bummer.
RDT: I’ve read 7 of the 8 books (but only really enjoyed the first 4 and parts of the other 3 – it gets very, and needlessly, meta at one point…). Also haven’t read any of the comic books or short stories in this series (but am curious). I appreciate it’s a canonical sequel and not an adaptation. And I like, but don’t love, the casting. But, that all being said, nothing I’ve seen or read has gotten me excited for this movie. The runtime, 95 minutes, concerns me, as does the reports of production issues and extensive reshoots. That all being said, it’s still likely I’ll be seeing it this weekend. At the end of the day though, I’m thinking IT will be the better King movie of the year.
Rick: As someone who tried and failed to get into this series of novels (I love the first book, but I tapped out after the third), I’m not terribly excited about this. However, it does make my fantasy casting of Matthew McConaughey as Randall Flagg a reality, so it gets points for that. Also for putting Idris Elba front and center. He needs to be a bigger star than he is.
Loren: I’m just glad to see Clint and Wanda going on their own adventures. This looks really solid, and I enjoyed Hell or High Water. When it hits streaming I’ll keep it in the queue.
RDT: It’s been a while since I’ve seen a really solid, adult drama (probably Hell or High Water). If reviews are good, and I have a couple hours to kill in the next week or two, and it’s playing at my local theater, I could see myself popping over there and giving it a watch.
Rick: Been waiting for this one for a while. Count me in.
Jen: From RDT’s description of a “really solid, adult drama” I thought, nope, not for me, but this trailer won me over. This looks great.
Loren: Remember when Halle Berry was going to be the next big superstar? What crime organization does she owe money to?
RDT: Shitty accents aside (I’m looking at you, X-Men), I agree with Rick below. Halle Berry is better than this. I have to believe there’s better material out there for her. Because if there’s not, that’s a much bigger issue.
Rick: Why is Halle Berry seemingly relegated to these barely better than a Lifetime movie movies? I think she needs a better agent.
Jen: It feels like this is in a theater solely because “direct to video” isn’t a thing anymore. I wouldn’t be surprised to find this on VHS in a bin at a truck stop.
Brave New Jersey (Limited)
Loren: This looks cute enough and I like most people involved but I can’t really see this sustaining a 90+ minute runtime.
RDT: I like the cast. The premise has potential, and I thought the trailer was cute. I’ll check it out streaming probably.
Rick: I feel like this would have been funnier as a five or ten minute Funny or Die bit. Pass.
Jen: Cute is really the best description of this. Tony Hale is always a plus though, so I’m willing to give it some consideration.
Chronically Metropolitan (Limited)
Loren: That was Chris Noth under that goatee? As far as the movie goes: Nah, I’m good.
RDT: Holy shit. That looks pretentiously indie as fuck. Seriously, it looks awful.
Rick: Sorry. I have no idea what that movie is about. I couldn’t focus on anything except all of the terrible facial hair in that trailer.
Jen: Not my bag, baby.
Loren: I couldn’t get past the fact that it’s so dark. Like, not thematically, but color correction-wise. It’s clearly a conscious choice but it looks so damn grey and kinda ugly for something that didn’t need to be. Oh, and I think that movie would be a tedious slog to get through.
RDT: If I hadn’t already said it about the movie above, I might’ve called this movie “pretentiously indie as fuck” instead. It doesn’t look quite as awful as that other one. But, yeah, it does look pretty g-d boring.
Rick: If this trailer is to be believed, then 80% of this movie is people staring longingly at things/people. I really like John Cho, but I don’t know if there are enough gushing pull quotes for me to take a flyer on this.
Jen: I love John Cho and I have the feeling if I cared at all about architecture I’d dive right into this. As it is, I’m not curious enough to chase this down.
From the Land of the Moon (Limited)
Loren: I’m just glad to see Bond villain Jaws getting to work opposite an Academy Award winner. Good for him. And if anyone is keeping tabs, I was able to understand much more of the French in this one without looking at the subtitles than the last few.
RDT: I know it’s shallow as fuck (but not “pretentiously indie as fuck”) to say, but I’m kinda not a foreign film guy (and as a film school graduate, I can acknowledge just how terrible that sounds). They have to really grab me from the start so I become less and less aware of the reading. And this trailer didn’t really do that. (Sorry…)
Rick: You put Marion Cotillard in your movie and I’m immediately interested. It was the only reason I went to see the exceedingly terrible Allied (Seriously, don’t see that movie. It’s hot garbage). I may not catch this in theaters, but I’ll see it eventually.
Jen: This seems like a movie critics would gush over, but a 33% Tomatometer says otherwise. I think I can skip this one.
Fun Mom Dinner (Limited)
Loren: I’m with Rick on this one. This looks like the worst version of Bad Moms. But it does have a pretty amazing cast. I don’t understand.
RDT: Toni Collette. Adam Scott. Paul RUDD!!!! Sigh…I hope you all enjoy your boats.
Rick: *looks at watch* Man, the turn-around on remakes is super fast. I would have thought they would have at least waited until the Bad Moms sequel came out before they greenlit a remake.
Jen: Sigh. I want this movie to be better. But more, I want it to WANT to be better.
The Girl Without Hands (Limited)
Loren: So much for understanding more of the French. This looks pretty gorgeous but I can’t see myself being engaged by the animation style enough, plus adding (obviously necessary) subtitles to it really takes you out of the visuals.
RDT: Did you read what I wrote about From the Land of the Moon? So, yeah, now there’s also a beautiful, but challenging animation style on top of it? I have to be honest here. I’m never seeing this movie.
Rick: I didn’t have to finish watching the trailer. *hands over all the monies for movie ticket*
Jen: That animation style gave me a headache just in the trailer.
I Dream in Another Language (Limited)
Loren: Wait, did they bang a bird to come up with a new universal language? I’m so confused.
RDT: I’m sure it’s an interesting story worth telling. But a foreign documentary (it is a doc, right?) about a dying language? Yeah…I got nothing.
Rick: I love the idea of a secret buried in a dying language. I’ll give this a go.
Jen: This feels like a story that could make for a great podcast, but I don’t really feel the need to see it enacted visually.
It’s Not Yet Dark (Limited)
Loren: Wow. Just, wow.
RDT: I have no words.
Rick: Did it just get dusty in here? No? Just me?
Jen: Amazing and uplifting. A documentary crowd-pleaser. I’ll get the tissues ready.
Some Freaks (Limited)
Loren: I think I’m good on this one. Nothing about it made me want to run out and see it, and some of the teen bullying etc. was a little cringey.
RDT: That trailer revealed too much. I like a good teen drama, but hate eye stuff. And I’m just shallow enough that that might keep me away. If reviews are good though, I’ll get over it and give it a shot. (I mean, it’s not like I have to read or anything.)
Jen: Maybe? There could be a great movie here or something really run-of-the-mill I wanted both a little more and a little less from this trailer.
Loren: I want to know how these girls lives turn out. On the Doc Doc™ it goes.
RDT: Seems like a story worth telling and seeing…eventually. Maybe.
Rick: I won’t make it to theaters for this, but I’ll happily watch it when it hits streaming.
Ray Donovan (Showtime)
Loren: I have never cared about this show. Sorry.
RDT: My uncle (the legendary Uncle JJ) loves this show. And his tastes are usually not awful. But, **shrugs**, I dunno. It just looks so “edgy,” you know? Like it’s trying too hard.
Rick: This series has pretty wide acclaim, but I can’t get myself interested in it for some reason.
Jen: I’m continually intrigued by this show, but somehow have never seen a single episode. Maybe when the series is wrapped I’ll do a full series binge?
Wet Hot American Summer: Ten Years Later (Netflix)
RDT: I had no idea this was dropping this weekend or, in gif form:
Voltron: Legendary Defender – Season 3 (Netflix)
Loren: I need to finish Season 1, but I’m in for this show.
RDT: I’ve heard decent things about this, I think from Loren…? But I’m not an anime guy. So, I’ll probably continue to skip it.
Rick: I keep meaning to get around to this. Now that Netflix is doubling down on original anime productions, I should try to jam through this before another interesting series drops.
Loren: I’ll add it to the queue. Hopefully it’s as thrilling as it sets out to be. However, don’t ask a wrestling fan why you’d want to watch a sporting event if it’s fixed. That’s just in bad taste.
RDT: That doc looks dope, yo!
I’ll see myself out…
Rick: I have a feeling that nothing in this doc is going to surprise me in the slightest. Consider me a maybe.
Jen: I like the feeling of danger from this doc so it’s on the list. At this point I won’t get through all of Netflix’s docs till my kid is in college.
Maz Jobrani: Immigrant (Netflix)
Loren: You guys know I love standup, but Maz Jobrani has never really been for me. I don’t think I’m in on this one.
RDT: If the trailer is supposed to have some (if not all) of the best jokes and it didn’t make me even crack a smile, yeah, I don’t think I’m gonna check it out.
Jen: This gave me more chuckles than the last few Netflix specials (which isn’t saying a lot) so I’ll give it the “falling asleep to comedy” test.
So that’s your upcoming weekend in review. Let us know what you saw, liked and/or hated.
–Loren, RDT, Rick, and Jen