Welcome to the Weekend Watch. Where we try to point you towards the best ways to spend your viewing time (or, at least, steer you clear of the garbage).
The Girl in the Spider’s Web
Loren: I’ve never watched any of the Lisbeth movies. Originals or American remakes. I feel like I should start with those first. That said this looks like so many other vigilante movies. Meh?
Rick: I’m in for this. Maybe this will finally push me into watching the expanded versions of the original trilogy.
Jen: I feel like I’m over the Lisbeth Salander saga, but Claire Foy is awesome so I’m willing to check this out, but I’ve lowered my expectations.
Loren: No, thanks. I’m good with the original 60s animated version.
Jen: Why does this exist, exactly?
Loren: Damnit Jen! The video game thing was going to be my take on this. Conversely though, I would play this game and now maybe I’m going to download Wolfenstein.
Rick: I have zero interest in this movie. Can we stop with the zombies already? Please, I beg of you, horror filmmakers. Try something new. Or at least something we haven’t seen in a while. Like vampires. Or werewolves. Or fucking insect people. Just something that isn’t a zombie.
Jen: This feels strongly like a video game and not a movie. And not a game I’d want to play.
Thugs of Hindostan
Loren: Pirates of the Colonization.
Rick: Loren wins this week’s unofficial, totally made up just now, comment competition. I can’t top that.
Jen: I gotta admit, I think this looks very fun. I don’t have any Diwali plans so maybe I spend it watching this.
Loren: Why did the end of that trailer seem so sinister? I don’t have much more to say about this than that.
Rick: I…I think I’m good, thanks.
Jen: That looks depressing. Really downer stuff. I’ve got enough downer stuff in the real world, thanks.
To Love Some Buddy
Loren: I think this time it’s going to work out between these two star crossed best friends. But I’ll never actually know because I’m not going to search this movie out.
Jen: It feels like I’ve seen this somewhere before. Oh, in almost every romantic comedy ever made, you say? That sounds about right.
Loren: Was this supposed to come out last year? Maybe Clayne Crawford needs some sort of residual check after getting booted from Lethal Weapon.
Rick: What…what is happening in this movie? You know what? I don’t care.
Jen: I have no strong feelings on this. Looks… fine.
Loren: This seems like there could be so many terrible repercussions after fucking with the time stream this much. Also, this is a pretty shady Groundhog Day way of getting with the girl.
Rick: If I could turn back time, I would not bother watching that trailer.
Jen: Isn’t this the plot of About Time? I’m not a fan of these movies where the woman has no agency and the guy just tricks her into loving him essentially. I’m sure it ends with everyone learning a lesson, but I’m alright without it.
The New Romantic
Loren: Not one but TWO Riverdale cast members in this! I was kind of on board until they dropped the old “This isn’t like romantic comedies in the movies” meta line. That’s a big red flag.
Rick: I don’t know how I feel about this one. The whole subject of sugar babies is kind of fascinating, but I think I’d rather watch a doc about the subject than spend my time with these characters.
Jen: Hunter S Thompson she ain’t. But this could be OK I guess. I’m feeling a lot of meh here.
The Long Dumb Road
Loren: This looks really dumb, but that fun kind of dumb. So… maybe?
Rick: Eeeh. I like Jason Mantzoukas, but not enough to see this movie.
Jen: Jason Mantzoukas? <3 <3 <3 This movie? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
River Runs Red
Loren: This trailer lost me immediately with “tough guy” George Lopez. But yeah, Jen’s right, this seems like it really trivializes the cops killing people of color nightmare that’s plaguing this country.
Rick: I’m all for a good revenge movie, but this just looks like it escalates into ridiculous territory. I expect that out of something like Vigilante (1982) or one of the Death Wish sequels. That’s why I’m watching them. But this is taking something all too real and tragic and watering it down. No thanks.
Jen: This feels a bit trivializing of a serious issue. Maybe I’m wrong and it’ll handle it with grace and nuance and not as an excuse for over-the-top action and a standard vengeance picture, but I’ll take my chances and skip it.
Postcards From London
Loren: This has an interesting look to it, but I don’t know that it’s a story I need to know more about.
Rick: I’m with Loren on this one. It gets points for a unique idea, but I have no interest in the characters.
Jen: This is… unique-looking? If I were in college I’d rush out to an art house to check this out. Now, I barely have time to rush out to Ralphs for Go-Gurts so, probably going to miss this one.
Loren: That was a pretty intense trailer and it looks as though this is well made. My problem with it is that it’s once again glorifying the typical bad guy and honestly that was a tired premise when it was Tony Montana.
Rick: Putting a woman in the role of a pimp, at least in this case, doesn’t prevent the rest of the movie from falling prey to every cliche and trope in this little crime subgenre. Pass.
Jen: I would be interested in learning more about the life of a female pimp, but I sort of wish I was seeing it in a documentary format. Someone make that movie for me.
Loren: Wait, what is this movie? Did he fall in love with the sister? I think I would be confused even if I was more fluent in French.
Rick: This looks decent, but I have a feeling I’ll forget it exists by the time it hits home video.
Jen: How very French to have the word “struggles” in the title. That being said, this looks like a decent family drama with some lighter moments. Good for you, movie, but my dance card’s full.
Liz and the Bluebird
Loren: I don’t really understand these Anime movies that are just normal stories, but animated. Like, what’s the point?
Rick: To Loren’s point: You may not be able to get financing for a live action version of the story, no matter how pedestrian it is. It’ll be less expensive to produce as an animated film of this type anyway. Also, the viewers they’re trying to hit are more likely to watch the Anime instead of a live action version; even if it’s the exact same story. More of a guaranteed return on the investment. As for me, I have a long list of animated features to watch before I’d consider this one.
Jen: I so badly want to like Anime, you guys.
Loren: Sure, I guess. This doesn’t seem to be treading any new ground but doesn’t look awful. Maybe a little forgettable.
Rick: Eeeh. Can I just watch the Thanksgiving episode of Master of None again?
Jen: Oh I couldn’t have one more bite, I’m stuffed from dinner. I think the tryptophan is kicking in too cause suddenly I’m sleepy.
Loren: But why would you play that game in the first place? What does it accomplish? “Getting to know each other”? More like ruining lives.
Rick: Why would you do this? This is such an ‘only in a movie’ idea. I can’t imagine any rational person would participate in this game. I am, however, down for an HPN dinner.
Jen: Since it seems like *all* of them have something to hide, who benefits from this? Although I do think the next time the HPN team gets together for dinner we should try this. Let’s do that soon, guys.
In A Relationship
Loren: I like Emma Roberts but she makes very odd choices. I can’t tell if this will be good or not so I’m going to lean toward not.
Rick: I don’t think Emma Roberts is quite to the point of having a boat payment. Maybe a Tesla payment?
Jen: I think we all lived this movie, or the less witty, less perfectly beautiful version of it, in our 20s, so I’m OK skipping the reliving it now.
Here and Now
Loren: This feels like the next logical step after your standard “New York Indie”. I think I’m all set.
Rick: *snore* All I could do during that trailer was postulate what terminal diagnosis SJP got to make her want to rethink her life choices. Also, can we stop with that being the impetus for people rethinking their life? People can have epiphanies and want to reconcile without the spectre of death looming over them.
Jen: I just can’t buy SJP as a singer. That basic conceit took me out of the entire enterprise. I think I’ll re-watch some old SATC reruns instead.
The Delinquent Season
Loren: Both male leads play deranged people so well that seeing them be normalish is actually kind of off putting.
Rick: This feels like a good rainy afternoon movie. Not that it ever rains here, but you get the idea.
Jen: That’s a pretty excellent cast, I will keep an eye out for this one.
Loren: That’s a pretty interesting story. Here’s to hoping that all this notoriety doesn’t completely ruin this kid.
Rick: I would listen to a ten minute profile of this kid on NPR. There doesn’t seem to be enough going on here to keep me interested for a full doc.
Jen: I’m down to check this out. Both as a foodie and as a mother, I’m curious.
Loren: This is another one where we are glorifying someone that is a real life monster. I think I’m all set on that.
Rick: I’m going to be the dissenter here. Yes, the trailer is absolutely glorifying this monster. No question that was what marketing/distribution thought would sell the movie. However, Pedro Almodovar doesn’t attach himself to exploitative material, so I have hope the movie is more character study than glorified nonsense.
Jen: I watched that trailer twice then looked up the real life “Angel of Death” and monster doesn’t begin to describe it. And yet, this film does make him seem cool, sexy, unbridled, free. Loren hit the nail on the head, this may be an amazing movie but I can’t stomach it.
John Leguizamo’s Latin History For Morons
Loren: I’ve always liked John Leguizamo and he has such range as an actor that I assume he must be a good story teller. That’s what this looks like, him telling stories in an interesting way. I’m intrigued.
Rick: I remember watching one of his specials years ago that was a similar format. He’s definitely a strong storyteller. I’ll add it to the queue.
Jen: Yeah, I’ll totally give this a shot. Good work John Leguizamo.
Medal of Honor
Loren: This is tough because on one hand these heroes should be recognized but on the other isn’t that what the medal is for?
Rick: It’ll take me a bit to get through them, but this will make the queue.
Jen: I admire and respect these people and I’m glad their stories are out there, but I’m good.
Loren: Looks pretty good. Maybe if I’m feeling a medieval drama this will make its way to the top of the list.
Rick: I enjoy me some Chris Pine, but was there not an actual Scottish actor available for the lead? Ewan McGregor? James McAvoy? Sam Heughan? Richard Madden? Hell, Gerard Butler? If the accent is bad I’ll never get through this one.
Jen: This is the full-frontal Chris Pine one, right? In.
Loren: What if the Powerpuff Girls were Drag Queens. I can’t tell if this looks like it’ll be fun or if it’s just going to be the same joke over and over.
Rick: Yep. I’m with Loren. I should probably watch the pilot just to see their style, but I’m not so sure about the comedy.
Jen: Huh. Um, what Loren said? Yeah, that.
Loren: Ok, but what is it? Why do they have to put together this SUPER important show? This didn’t tell me enough about the impetus of the series to hook me into watching it.
Rick: This show has an audience, but it is not me.
Jen: Cards on the table here, this is the kind of thing I scoff at when I see a trailer like this, but then end up obsessively watching. I’d be shocked if I didn’t end up sucked into this against my will.
Loren: Maybe I don’t like British humor. I thought I did, but everything I’ve seen lately looks like this. And by this I mean not all that funny.
Rick: I feel like cringy comedy is getting more prevalent. I’m not super in favor of it. Admittedly, this did get a couple of laughs out of me. Small ones. Titters? Let’s call them titters, cause it’s a funny word.
Jen: It feels like there will be cringing involved in watching this.
Beat: Season 1
Jen: No thanks!
Patriot: Season 2
Loren: I’ve heard good things but haven’t watched the first season yet. Maybe someday.
Rick: I can’t believe this got a second season. Glad people are working, but I am not watching.
Jen: Looking into this show to remember it led me to this article which doesn’t just relate to my feelings on this trailer but is a great read about where we are television-wise.
So that’s your upcoming weekend in review. Let us know what you saw, liked and/or hated.
As always, you can find us on Facebook at facebook.com/hollywoodpicturenews, Instagram at instagram.com/hollywoodpicturenews, or @HWPicNews on Twitter. And send in your questions/comments to firstname.lastname@example.org.
–Loren, RDT, The Lady™, Rick, and Jen